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The density of aging people in three developed countries


ryan31 65 / 96 15  
Nov 10, 2016   #1
A breakdown of the information about the percentage of the density of aging people in three different developed countries over one century started in 1940 was showed in the line chart. Overall, all figures experienced an upward trend. Even though the USA predominated in the beginning, Japan dominated in the end of the period.

Initially, the figure showed USA dominated proportion of the population aged 65 until 1990. It was followed by Sweden has a similar trend like USA, but occupied in the second position. After that, Japan decreased gradually and take place in the third position.

Turning to 2000, Sweden increased dramatically to 16% and takeover USA so that leading the proportion in aging aged. USA experienced decreased gradually to 14%, while Japan saw increased slightly to 5%. In 2020, USA still same proportion in this year, yet Sweden witnessed increased gradually by 15%. Japan saw a remarkable increase of around 8%. Eventually, all countries experienced an increasing, while the proportion rocketed to around 27% was recorded by Japan.



Beauty17 56 / 88 5  
Nov 11, 2016   #2
Hallo ryan... here my sugestion for you..

First of all, i have seen your graph picture for this question, and it unappropiate with the content of your essay. please check it again. Be carefull on your next essay.. next, i give some notes about your essay esspecially in grammatical errors.

A breakdown of the information about (...) started in 1940 wasis showed in the line chart (For paraphrasing the question you must use present form. You should make it in the past form in your overview) .

It was followed by Sweden has had a similar trend ...
... gradually and taketookplace in the third position.

... dramatically to 16% and takeovertook over USA so that leading the...
In 2020, USA still same proportion in this [...] rocketed to around 27% was recorded by Japan.(I think for this statement you should use future form not in past form)

i hope it helps. good luck


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