We have to depend on technology which makes our life easier, but we need to use it in a proper way.

Please anyone can help me with this Task 2 essay.

Nowadays the way many people interact with each other has changed because of technology. In what ways has technology affected the types of relationships that people make? Has this been a positive or negative development?

my answer:

It is obviously that we depending on technology in every aspect of our modern life. Human relationships are one of them; it has both sides positive and negative effects and that what we will discuss in this essay.

Firstly, new technologies like smartphones and the internet have a direct effect at people interaction with each other. Applications like WhatsApp and Facebook are cheap and easy to use; everyone can send photos and voice messages and chat with anyone in the world. Moreover, businessmen can have a meeting on Skype for instance and each one in a different country. Education has a new path with these technologies. Virtual universities and education institutions have theirs platform on the cyber, so many students can have certificates and many skills and up-to-date knowledge from their rooms. Teachers and students can have online lessons so that give a diversity for everyone to expand their choice of learning.

Secondly, new technology has another face. The most effect is isolating people from each other and leak in real interaction in general. For example, many young people prefer to have new friends through the internet rather than contact with their peers in the real world. That has a big result in their personality like fear from face to face conversation and physical activities which learn more skills with real friends. Physical problems can occur with lot of time at devices screens, many professional doctors are warning from eyes and body diseases which will be the number one among young people.

In conclusion, we have to depend on technology which makes our life easier, but we have to use it in a proper way.

@jone75
It is obviously obvious
that we excessivelydepend rely on ...
it has both sides positive and negative effects
and that what we will discuss in this essay, avoid inserting that sentence

Firstly, instead use: First and foremost,

have a direct effect at people interaction with each other
Change to: have a direct impact on people's interaction with each other

everyone can send photos,and voice messages and chat with anyone in around the world

@ nandasharma @ lorna thank you for your response, I will try to write better in the next essay.
how much I get for this essay from 9 ?

Jone, your overall score for this essay could be a 5 in terms of task accuracy. That is because the essay prompt clearly asked you to pick either a negative or a positive side to discuss in the essay. Instead, you opted to discuss both sides which meant that you did not really understand how you were being asked to choose just one topic to discuss. Next, your paraphrased prompt was not as close to the original prompt in explanation as it could have been. It is also too short as it is less than 3 sentences in presentation. All of these factors combined to lower your task accuracy to a 5.

Cohesiveness and coherence shows your potential to improve in scoring. Your presentation could score between a 5 and a depending upon the other considerations that the examiner will have in considering your discussion presentation. Lexical Resource, could also range within a 5 or 6 because did try to use some uncommon words and the mistakes that you had in using the words did not really make it difficult to understand what you had to say. Grammar accuracy and range would also be scored a 6 at the most because your essay was not difficult to comprehend even as you tried to display your simple and complex grammar skills.

Overall, I believe that your bandwidth score would be a 6. Next time, make sure to address the task as indicated in the prompt. Try to learn how to identify when you should discuss one or two sides in an essay. That will help to increase your task accuracy score and your overall bandwidth results.