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Describe a scene at a school canteen during recess.



Pamelyn Q 1 / -  
Sep 21, 2014   #1
Recess is necessary for students. It is a delightful relief. As soon as the school bell rings signifying the start of the twenty-minute recess period, all hell breaks loose and all students perk up. School work burden is forgotten within the recess time. There will be a stampede towards the canteen. The school comes alive.

The benches in the canteen during recess are never unoccupied. There is a lot of noise and the canteen is totally chaos. The counter is always crowded with students, even, there is no such thing as a 'queue'. Most of them shout out aloud to attract the attention of the canteen operators in order to make the first purchase. The operators are not able to meet the demands at once. They sometimes lose their patience then pull a long face.

The school canteen offers a variety of foods. Unfortunately, the canteen is dominated by foods that are high in sugar, fat and salt such as burgers, fried chicken, fish and chips. These fast foods do have a negative effect on students' health. But, for them, they do not actually much care about that. They just want to unwind and to fill up their growling stomachs. The foods still sell like hot cakes.

After buying their food, it is time for students to eat. Some students devour their food greedily because of hunger while others engage in their chit chats even when their mouths are full. The students particularly are chattering in a jovial mood. Some junior students chase each other without a care in the world. As a result, they get scolded by teachers on duty who fear for their safety. And also there are some prefects on duty control those 'uncivilized' students from pushing and shoving at the counter.

All too soon, when the bell rings again to announce the end of the recess period, all students wend their ways to the class. One can see gloom write large on their faces. They get themselves ready to attend the last periods willy-nilly. The moment they come back to the classroom their joy is no more. All the students just left, leaving the canteen a mess.

sa1na 9 / 72  
Sep 21, 2014   #2
I believe in the first paragraph instead of some of the dots (like the last one), you can use (;). Also in the second paragraph :D

But, for them, they do not actually much care about that. - However, they do not actually care at all(maybe, to exaggerate!) about that.

(are engaged) engage in their chit cha

And also there are some (and it excessive in here)

their joy is no more - not a good sentence. Maybe, there is no more joy left for them.

just left (vacate), leaving the - or maybe you can say : No more students in the isolated,messy canteen.

In general, you completely successfully reminded me of the real recess we had when we were younger. Good describing. ;)


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