Unanswered [2]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width   Posts: 5


desirable lifestyle: as a celebrity or common people. argument IELTS



usalma2002 9 / 21  
Mar 1, 2010   #1
An argument topic about the benefits of a life as a celebrity was given. Explore the pros and cons of being a celebrity and support one side.

Due to constant media attention film stars, sports professionals, pop music stars and even influential political leaders have become celebrities these days. The reason behind such media attention is public interest- people want to know more about their favorite superstars.

On the one hand, men natural instinct is to remain alive by keeping their name live among people always and even after their death and for forever. Thus they like to become celebrities and even some try to perform abnormal activities too to get recognition. “Greenwich book of world records” can be the best example supporting this argument, where men have created records doing unusual, apparently difficult tasks for ages. And in the free market economy- all businessmen want to make money selling items that are in demand, regardless of what these items are. Thus superstars are always in the center of attention of media and public as well. Consequently, those who are in top position are paid high remuneration, lead extravagant life style with big houses and cars, always are surrounded by supporters amidst great jubilation. Definitely there is a charm in this kind of way of living.

Opponents who posses negative view about being celebrity may show some arguments like these-there are many more careers in the world that hold much responsibilities and serves toward nation by humanitarian activities throughout their lives. Even though they are never appreciated as celebrities, they are much valuable for our society. For instance, doctor, scientific researcher, teacher, nurse etc. professionals never enlisted as celebrities but their work contributes to the society much. Additionally, experience is of much value in these professions and professionals can generally serve longer as well as earn relatively longer period.

On the other hand, the major drawback of being celebrities is that competition is constant and players are tested each time they perform in their relatively short career. Continuously they are in threat to be replaced by someone younger, more energetic and more attractive one.

Meanwhile a primary disadvantage of being general people is that they are never remembered long for their service and most of the time they totally disappear from society after the week of their death. Nevertheless these types of men may get satisfaction and peace in mind due to lead simple, additive-free life.

At the end, I must say both the options can be good or bad, depending on personal considerations. But I prefer to be a general one who leads simple, comparatively less stressful, out of focus life accompanying with friends and relatives ordinarily.

purplespongy22 3 / 2  
Mar 2, 2010   #2
I think you need a comma after Due to constant media, ...

maybe you can put a semi colon,
interest; people want to know

hope this helps :)
EF_Kevin 8 / 13052  
Mar 2, 2010   #3
On the one hand, humans' natural instinct is to remain alive by keeping their names alive among people always, and even after their death and for forever.

Thus they like to become celebrities and even some try to perform abnormal activities too to get recognition.----- good sentence!

The Guinness Book of World Records can be the best example ...

all businessmen businesspeople want to make money selling...

...and players are tested each time they perform in their relatively short careers .

Nice job! Your writing has only a few errors!
cathyliu 19 / 53  
Mar 2, 2010   #4
leads simple, comparatively less stressful, out of focus life

I think it should be "leads a simple ...life. " or "lives a simple ...life".
OP usalma2002 9 / 21  
Mar 2, 2010   #5
thank you all for your co-operation.


Home / Writing Feedback / desirable lifestyle: as a celebrity or common people. argument IELTS
ⓘ Need Writing or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms for professional help:

Best Writing Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳