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DESTRUCTION OF GREENHOUSE; Earth has loosen his source.


angeltetra 3 / 1  
Sep 3, 2007   #1
Earth has loosen his source. every year, people are injured by natural disasters such as floods,erosion etc. However scientific research indicate that reason of natural disasters is human activity because human break down natural balance. People destroy natural sources without thinking their future. Especially forests which are ruined more than other sources. People get rid of forests compeletly for two reason ;find new accomodation and earn money. Therefore if governments want to protect forests, they should improve their tecnique and law.

mother of nature never hurts itselves. Although people need fresh air to live, they can cut these trees to built new apartmans. Because of overpopulation creates different problem which is accomodation needs. People start to fire forests lack of bare place. today, reason of forest fire is human approximately %97. In addition, people need money to survive. When they can't find appropriate place for agriculture or earing money. they cut trees to earn money initally,after that , they use these places for agriculture. However those forget that they are not only sell their product such as tomato,strawbery or wheat but also their future.

All of these reasons show that governments should make decision to protect greenhouse.Firstly, they should improve their equipments. For example they should adjust barget and save money to purchase fire-plane.Secondly ,government educate their staff who work in team of forest so these people will know what they do when forest-fire starts. Thirdly,governments should put strict rules and they shoul monitor forest-place. In this way they can arrest criminal who ruin forests

To sum up, people influence world's future because they disobey natural rule. Most people always consume natural source without producting new ones. Therefore they will lost their forests include in fresh-air. If nobody stop this situation,new generation will pay money for air.

EF_Team2 1 / 1,708  
Sep 4, 2007   #2
Greetings!

Merhaba! I'd be happy to help you with some editing. It can be a challenge to write about complex topics in a foreign language. You have expressed some good ideas and just need a little help with grammar. The quickest way for me to help you is to show you the best way to express it in English and you can compare it to what you wrote and see where you need to make changes. In a few places, I indicated I wasn't sure what thought you were expressing.

Earth has loosen his source. - Unfortunately, this does not make sense and I am not sure what you were trying to say. Could it be that "Earth is losing its natural resources"?

Every year, people are injured by natural disasters such as floods, erosion, etc. However, scientific research indicates that the reason for natural disasters is human activity because humans break down the natural balance. People destroy natural resources without thinking of their future, especially forests which are ruined more than other resources. People get rid of forests completely for two reasons: to find new accommodation and earn money. [Better would be to say "to build houses and make money."] Therefore, if governments want to protect forests, they should improve their techniques and law. [This is a little unclear; what techniques are you referring to? which laws?]

Mother Nature never hurts herself. [I'm not entirely sure I agree; natural disasters can harm one part of nature, even if the result may help another; for instance forest fires started by lightning harm the trees, but often new kinds of wildlife benefit afterward.] Although people need fresh air to live, they can cut these trees to build new apartments, because overpopulation creates a different problem, which is the need for accommodation.

People start to fire forests lack of bare place.- [This does not make sense; not sure what you meant.] Today, the cause of 97% of forest fires is human activity. In addition, people need money to survive. When they can't find an appropriate place for agriculture or earning money, they cut trees to earn money initially, after that , they use these places for agriculture. However, those people forget that they are not only selling their product such as tomatoes, strawberries or wheat, but also their future.

All of these reasons show that governments should make the decision to protect Earth's greenhouse. [I think you must mean, "to protect the Earth from greenhouse gases"?]

Firstly, they should improve their equipment. For example, they should adjust their budgets and save money to purchase fire-planes. Secondly, governments should educate their staff who work in forestry so these people will know what to do when forest fires start. Thirdly, governments should enact strict rules and they should monitor forests. In this way they can arrest the criminals who ruin forests.

To sum up, people influence the world's future because they disobey the laws of nature. Most people consume natural resources without producing new ones. Therefore they will lose their forests and the fresh air made by them. If nobody stops this situation, the new generation will pay money for air.

Good work!

Thanks,

Sarah, EssayForum.com
OP angeltetra 3 / 1  
Sep 4, 2007   #3
thank's for editting. this friday I'm going to have important exam so I need help. I want to ask something what is this essay score in 100? because I need 60. what do you thing about it?

I will send my other essays if you have time, will you check these. Thank's for your helping
just 2 days left :)
EF_Team2 1 / 1,708  
Sep 4, 2007   #4
Greetings!

That's a difficult question for me to answer, because I don't have enough information. For example, I don't know what class this is for. Grammar, spelling and punctuation might count for more in an English class, for example, than in a science one; however, that might not be true, depending upon your instructor. Some instructors are very fussy about it and others less so. It also depends what the assignment was. Was the emphasis on research? On how to write an essay properly? It's hard for me to know how to grade it without knowing more. But, having said that, I think if you made the changes I suggested, I would give it at least a 60, but there's no way for me to know what your instructor will do.

Thanks,

Sarah, EssayForum.com
tinkk9992 - / 1  
Oct 21, 2009   #5
"Being Green" - I NEED HELP FIGURING OUT A THESIS STATEMENT

hey, guys!
i have to figure out a thesis statement about being "green" or the recent "environmentally friendly" trend that has occurred in our culture. it can be on ANYTHING. any ideas? thank you; i'd really appreciate the help! (i have absolutely NO idea!)
EF_Sean 6 / 3,491  
Oct 21, 2009   #6
The environmentalist movement is merely a manifestation of the human need to adhere to some sort of religious belief. Although nominally secular, it is characterized by the same fanaticism, irrationality, and conservatism that it's adherents are so quick to condemn in the Judeo-Christian religions.

There. That should keep you busy for awhile.


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