Unanswered [1]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width   Posts: 2


In the developed world, average life expectancy is increasing. What are the problems and solutions?



lamlinhlinh 1 / -  
Aug 4, 2024   #1
It is true that average lifespan in developed nations is on the rise. This phenomenon brings about issues for individuals and communities, and steps can be taken to alleviate the challenges associated with aging populations.

The rising proportion of elderly citizens puts heavy pressure on the healthcare system and younger generations. In terms of the former, it would be urgent for authorities to provide sufficient and convenient medical treatment for the elderly, which means more hospitals and clinics need to be constructed and equipped with cutting-edge technology and specialized facilities. This, however, can pose significant challenges to the government's national budget because it necessitates substantial financial resources to create such modern facilities. Additionally, young people may face heightened strains to sustain and develop their nation's economy due to a remarkable shortage of the workforce as more people reach retirement age. For example, countries like South Korea and Japan, which have high aging population ratios and low fertility rates, are experiencing economic slowdowns.

To address these problems, governments could implement sustainable policies. The first measure would involve raising public awareness about preventing chronic diseases, such as diabetes and gout. By launching initiatives related to healthcare problems or promoting healthy lifestyles, especially among the elderly, people can gain in-depth knowledge of what they should do to ensure their well-being. This allows authorities to save a substantial amount of money spent on medical treatments for the elderly. Another solution would be raising the retirement age, enabling older workers to remain active in the workforce, thus reducing dependency on younger generations. Moreover, younger employees could benefit from the valuable experience of older workers in dealing with work challenges.

In conclusion, aging populations place a heavy burden on medical facilities and pose challenges for young people in driving the nation's economy. Implementing new policies that help reduce the negative impact of this growing demographic is essential for sustaining societal well-being and economic growth.

Holt  Educational Consultant - / 15461  
Aug 4, 2024   #2
It is true that average lifespan in developed nations is on the rise.

This is your personal opinion which is not reflected in the original discussion. You cannot make such claims in the restatement as this will alter the original discussion reference point. Save these sorts of opinions for the writer's opinion + thesis statement or, in the reasoning paragraphs.

This phenomenon brings about

You did not summarize your response to the questions / writing guide that was provided. You cannot receive a score for merely repeating the writing instructions. Your TA score, based on the incorrect prompt restatement and missing writer's opinion + thesis statement will be a failing one.

The essay will start at the lowest possible score because the TA section was not properly addressed. It is quite possible that this essay will receive an overall failing score. The concluding summary is not a good reverse paraphrase since it does not repeat the important points of the previously stated discussions. You cannot possibly receive a passing score for this test even though your reasoning paragraphs are acceptable.


Home / Writing Feedback / In the developed world, average life expectancy is increasing. What are the problems and solutions?
ⓘ Need Writing or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms for professional help:

Best Writing Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳