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Developing a law to restrict smokers' zone is very beneficial to reduce the passive smoking effect


aflah15 32 / 18 4  
Feb 21, 2016   #1
In some countries it is now illegal to smoke in public places. It is only fair that people who wish to smoke should have to leave the building. Do you agree or disagree?

Smoking has been forbidden legally in public areas such as gardens, restaurants, public transports, and hospitals in several parts of the world. I would agree that it is a right method to preserve passive smokers and young generation from harmful effects of cigarettes' smoke.

The essential reason why smoking in public places is illegal is preventing others' health from breathing smoke of cigarettes. It is because cigarettes' smokes consist of various danger substances such as nicotine, benzene, and tar which lead people getting serious medical problems such as heart attack and bronchitis. A survey in Paris showed that more than 600,000 passive smokers who breathe cigarettes' smokes intensively die every year.

Children are driven directly to unhealthy habit is an essential reason to forbid people smoke everywhere. Although the majority of adults in children's neighborhood show smoking as a part of their lifestyle, children can be protected carefully since there is a real law to restrict smokers' zone which teaches them that smoking is hapless activity. In my country, Indonesia, most of public areas such as shopping center and restaurants provide free smoke area, especially in children zone to protect their health and show them that serious disease will be occurred if they use it.

All in all, producing a law to restrict smokers' zone is very beneficial to reduce the chance for others becoming second-hand smokers and protect children' healthy lifestyle early since smokers are surrounded by the strict alarms which are legal to be convicted. Where, possible, some awful punishments should be taken into deliberation.

indah_hai 19 / 38 4  
Feb 21, 2016   #2
Dear aflah15,

Looking to the question is about agree and disagree, I think in the conclusion, it needs re-positioning your answer to make it stronger point.
And, because the question is asking about "It is only fair that people who wish to smoke should have to leave the building', I think you need to answer it also..

Thanks
-indah-
putri22 33 / 33 5  
Feb 21, 2016   #3
Although the majority of adults in children's neighborhoodsurroundings shows smoking as (...) since there is a realan official law to (...) smoking is haplesshazardous activity.

... shopping center and restaurants provide free smokesmoking area, especially in children ...

ps:
overall, the essay is very good. but i think it would be perfect if you discuss briefly this statement "It is only fair that people who wish to smoke should have to leave the building." so your essay will not be partial.
caro5ca 2 / 8 1  
Feb 21, 2016   #4
Helllo! I think your essay is well written and straight to the point, but I think it lacks a personal story of why you aggree with this policy to make it sound more real and for the person or committe you are addresing making it importnt to you by one way or another makes you essay valuable!


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