Some people think that in the modern world human beings are more dependent on each other, while others think that people have become more independent. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
The development of economy, technology together with many other fields has profoundly transformed human society. A lot of changes, either positive or negative, can be recognized in our way of living. Whereas some people claim that human beings tend to have greater needs for others' assistance, some believe that we are doing things more independently.
On the one hand, it is undeniable that mankind is becoming more dependent in some aspects of life. Service industry, without doubt, is now playing a fundamental role in our modern life. We buy food from supermarkets, we pay for fashionable clothes from fashion outlets, we can travel to anywhere thanks to the help of travel agencies, ... We also rely on other essential services such as commercial, postal, telephone, transportation, Internet, ... With the dramatic progress of many spheres, there comes a variety of issues that require us to cooperate if we want to tackle them. It takes a group of scientists to carry out a research, a team of professional engineers to launch a rocket... It is clear that no individual can handle these tasks on his own.
On the other hand, modern technology makes us more independent. State - of- the -art technology enable us to do many things at the push of a button. In the past, if we want to contact a person somewhere off the beaten track, we will surely have to wait for an age time since the letter needs to be delivered from one place to another. Nowadays, snail mails are replaced with e-mails, which are faster and feasible to everyone. The Internet also provides us with a cornucopia of knowledge of different subjects. Technological advancement gives us the ability to do many things by ourselves, which is virtually impossible in the past.
In conclusion, modernization has affected human beings in various ways. People may get either more dependent or independent. However, in my perspective, the global continuing development asks for our increasing cooperation rather than individual performance.
Vi, the introduction is incomplete because you did not present your point of view as part of the first paragraph. You must include a restated prompt, overview of the discussion, and your personal opinion in that paragraph because it is required by the prompt. Without a proper introduction to the problem, the introduction becomes incomplete and does not allow the reader to discover whose opinions are being presented in the essay. This becomes even more evident as one advances in reading the essay and upon reaching the end, learns that while both sides of the matter were discussed, you did not add your own opinion in the essay. I suggest that you revise the essay by adding your own opinion as a paragraph before your conclusion, then revise your conclusion to reflect the same. After you do that, the grammar errors can already be corrected.
