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The diagram illustrates the process of rainwater circulation in order to be used for human's needs


liv_ryu 13 / 22 6  
Apr 10, 2016   #1
The diagram illustrates the process of rainwater circulation in order to be used for human's necessary. Overall, it can be seen that there are several steps to manufacture the proper water, while 2 types in main point are wastewater treatment and storm water treatment.

Initially, the clouds naturally produce rains water which will fall down on nature stored by dam and on residential area collected by tank, special for rain water. Next, both are consumed in various purposes, in which water from damn is allocated to wastewater treatment plant before utilized for drinking, whilst from tank water is distributed for housing activities directly.

In addition, a half of collected result on Water Treatment is recycled into accommodation again. Whilst water household towards river by pipe, the excess treated water towards to same purpose. This water is able to evaporate, then creating cloud. This process reverses.




nabila05 8 / 12  
Apr 17, 2016   #2
Hi, Lily. You have described the process from the diagram very well. Here, I want to give you some suggestions that may help your writing.

- Initially, the clouds naturally produce rains water which will fall down on nature stored by a dam and on residential area collected by a tank, special for rain waterrain brought by clouds which produce water for natural lakes, pools or artificial reservoirs likes dams.

- Next, both are consumed infor various purposes, in which water from damn is allocated to wastewater treatment plant before utilized for drinking, whilst e from tank water is distributed for housing activities directly.

There you are, Lily. I hope you find my feedback is helpful towards your future enhancement in IELTS writing. Keep writing, Lily :)
Hengki Yonathan 4 / 4  
Apr 17, 2016   #3
The diagram illustrates the process of rainwater circulation ...

in fact, your task is less than 150 words. actually, 145 words I've checked it.
you can extend your information in first paragraph with other information or write the item there like what kind of the process and need more paraphrase there.

The flow diagram illustrates the rainwater circulation process in order to be used for human's necessary with several stages including a, b, c,d and so on.. and in your overview, give the most interest thing to extend it in body paragraph.

you can reach 150 words for extending your sentences


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