IELTS TASK 1 - The diagram reveals how to use an automatic photo booth

The diagram reveals how to use an automatic photo booth. Overall, there are six steps to use this tool.

At first, people should enter a coin in side of the booth. The following step is choosing the size of photo, such as 1 large format or passport-sized. Then, they are supposed to pick out whether they want colour photos or black and white photos. However, for the passport photo sized, it is only available in colour.

After that, people enter through the booth and sit in the adjustable stool. They should pay attention to eye level that must close to the screen when taking photos. Therefore before taking picture, people can see their face at the mirror to adjust their appearance. The picture will be taken if the light single flash has appeared after seconds thereby they should wait for it first. Then, after taking picture, the photos will be delivered within 60 second to the side of booth.

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Rere, complete the way that you present the information in the overview / introduction of your essay. You accidentally created only two sentences in what was otherwise a very strong start to your essay. Your mistake was compressing the information into the two sentences you presented. Format your opening statement into at least three sentences this way:

The diagram reveals... (1st sentence)
This includes the explanation for several essential parts of automatic photo booth. (2nd sentence)
Overall, there are six steps.... (3rd sentence)

You need to remember that each paragraph of your essay needs to have at least 3 sentences in each before it can even be considered acceptable by the examiner. The idea is to have you present a complete thought and understanding of all the aspects of the chart you were provided. By limiting yourself to only 2 sentences per paragraph, you fail to display your ability to express yourself in the English language, which is a major component of the scoring system. Hopefully, you can gain some improvements in the next practice by considering my feedback. Good luck for that :)