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IELTS WRITING TASK 1: The diagrams below give information on transport and car use in Edmonton



La Baso 15 / 21  
Apr 11, 2016   #1
The diagrams below give information on transport and car use in Edmonton.
Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The pie chart illustrates the percentage of using four transportation in Edmonton; and the table gives information about the proportion of possible reasons that why cars are used by citizens. Overall, it can be seen that car was the greatest used while commute to work was the biggest reason people used it.

Concerning to the kinds of transports in pie chart, car showed the biggest used which took place more than two fifths of all transportations. At 35%, Light Rail Transit was the second most popular transport to use. In addition, both Bus and Taxi had similar patterns which were the lowest transportation that stood at only one in ten.

Coming the second to several reasons inhabitants used car in the table, commute to work was the most possible reason which peaked more than half. Business and Taking children to school were the second most largest motives societies used it that were at 45% and 40% in order. However, Shopping and Leisure activities were the last reasons, both were at 15%.


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ichanpants89 16 / 742  
Apr 11, 2016   #2
Baso, I notice that your writing is actually good and well-organized. The flow of the ideas also well-done. Yet, I still found some grammatical and punctuation errors in your essay. You have to be more aware in using a proper punctuation, because that is also band score criteria for writing. This is what you should avoid:

- four types of transportation....
- in Edmonton; and the table gives information about the proportion of possible reasons that why cars are used by citizens.
(better separate this sentence, inaccurate)
- it can be seen that,(comma needed) car was the greatest usedusage,(comma needed) while commute to work was the...
- the biggest usedusage,(comma needed) which...
- several reasons why inhabitants usedusing car

I just want to remind you that if you want to reach band 6 or above, you should be able to reach this stage:

Band 6 for Grammatical Range and Accuracy:
makes some errors in grammar and punctuation but they rarely reduce communication


Good luck for the next writing practice! :)


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