The diagrams below show the site of a school and the plan for changes to the school site.

school site diagrams

The stride of an unknown school site from 2004 to 2024 is illustrated in the two maps given.
Overall, there will be some amelioration taking place in the school site over twenty years with the most significant change in the number of students.

In greater detail, there will be 1,000 students studying in the school whereabouts, which will be 400 students greater than it was in 2004. In terms of the west, the road, the driveway and the main entrance will be retained their functions and positions. In addition, a path will be constructed so that School Building 1 and 2 can be linked at the expense of dwindling the length of a path which used to be connected with the main entrance.

As far as the others are concerned, sundry plants will be chopped down to make room for another car park adjacent to the newly-set-up School Buiding 3 in the east of the location which will be engaged with a newly-built road. Finally, the sport field will be narrowed and re-positioned at the side of Car Park 2.

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Do not focus on word usage alone. There are several instances in this presentation when the word choice is incorrect or inapplicable to the sentence. These errors create problems since the paragraph becomes incoherent to the reader. I understand that the writer is trying to get a good LR score, but when the word meaning does not fit the representation, this attempt will only succeed in leading to a failing score in that section.

The writer has not provided a clear summary overview and the discussions are also lost in terms of coherent and cohesive representation. Information that is necessary, such as the year representations, proper paragraph comparisons, and individual paragraph explanations are not well threshed out in this essay. As such, the writer created an under developed reporting analysis. I believe this error was caused by his lack of outlining and drafting his presentation. The writer just wrote on the fly and hoped that it would result in a passing score, which it will not.