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Writing task 1 : Diarrhea cases in Mashhad


SHanafi 120 / 415 93  
May 6, 2014   #1
Hello friend, here I found something interesting in this graph which take my curiosity to write it down into 5 paragraphs, please commented mine, thank you

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The line graph shows the changes of diarrhea cases in Mashhad Island during a particular period from 1983 to 1992.

Overall, the diarrhea case in Mashhad showed a slight fluctuation during the first 5- year, then rocketed before experienced a sudden drop towards the end of period under review.

A series of data revealed that there were approximately 100 diarrhea cases in marshland between 1983 and 1985. After a slight increase to approximately 170 cases showed in 1986, such trend rose steadily before experienced a sudden drop to nearly 50 cases in two following year.

As per the year 1988 onward, a rebound to almost eightfold increase occurred in 1989. Standing in contrast with 1988 diarrhea cases, by 400 people in Mashhad suffer by such disease in 1989. While there was the peak of case throughout the year under review, after leveled off around 350 cases between 1990 and 1991, the diarrhea case swiftly changed to the zero case in 1992.

Interestingly, Marshland city could break the number of diarrhea to zero case while the trend showed tremendous case in the past three years.

In conclusion, in 1992 Mashland noted as the health city having zero case of diarrhea after take war of such kind of disease over 8-year between 1983 to 1991.



Pahan 1 / 1,906 553  
May 6, 2014   #2
The line graph shows the changes of diarrhea cases in Mashhad Island during a particular period from 1983 to 1992.
Don't leave the time period in a vague state if you know the exact duration. If the years are not mentioned, then it is ok :)

Overall, the number of diarrhea cases in Mashhad showed a slight fluctuationslightly fluctuated during the first 5- years , then rocketed before experienced a sudden drop towards the end of period under review.before experiencing more volatile fluctuations from the sixth year onward.
eddies [Contributor] 25 / 1,208 476  
May 8, 2014   #3
Interestingly, Marshland city could break the number of diarrhea to zero case while the trend showed tremendous case in the past three years.

Adds no value for your report. Omit it. This task is aimed at assessing your report writing skills.

In conclusion, in 1992 Mashland noted as the health city having zero case of diarrhea after take war of such kind of disease over 8-year between 1983 to 1991.

There is not necessity for a conclusion. You are reporting a visual presentation.

my curiosity to write it down into 5 paragraphs

Developing the classical five paragraph essay or more will send you to earn a very impressive result, but this should be followed by a succinct explanation, coherent sentences, grammar error-free, colloquial usage, etc. Otherwise, you get a lower score. For this time, you have not covered all features above.

Coherence within a paragraph is crucial to IELTS writing.


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