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IELTS Task 1 : Different courses in England - Two pie charts


SHanafi 120 / 415 93  
Nov 23, 2014   #1
The pie charts present data concerning alteration in six different means of courses in England in 2010 and 2012.

Overall, more students significantly enrol in sport science course over two years under review while the UK students take the least interest in joining carpentry.

As per the bar charts, around a quarter of English students enrolled to sport science course in 2012 while in 2010 it recorded just 11,9 % enrollment, this 16 percent increase was the most significant improvement over the all courses. Compared to the number of devotees in carpentry course being accounted 5 % in 2012, such trend recorded a fivefold increase. Engineering took the second place in number improvement. Rising at 12,3% in 2010, it climbed to 18,5 % during the review years.

Besides, the courses of social studies, nursing and psychology showed a decrease. Rising as highest percentage at 27%, the number of British student joining in social studies course fell at about 6 percent in 2012. Although the percentage of nursing's attendance in 2010 bear uncanny resemblance in percentage of sport science in 2012, it approximately halved to 14 % in 2012. However, psychology noted an un-significant decrease over the two years period.




bang 2 / 2 1  
Nov 24, 2014   #2
Introduction can be like that "the given pie charts represent the data about...just paraphrasing the given topic.
2nd paragraph I think bar charts and pie charts are different nor synonymous
Sid1316 2 / 3  
Nov 24, 2014   #3
According to me, you should write the overview part at the end or somewhere in the middle.
fadlanmuzakki 15 / 49 36  
Dec 1, 2014   #4
I think, you did not paraphrase the question. In my personal view it is essential in IELTS writing task one. it probably cause your essay more clear when you re-phrase the question in the first paragraph.

keep spirit, keep study :)
OP SHanafi 120 / 415 93  
Dec 10, 2014   #5
Hi

I think bar charts and pie charts are different nor synonymous

Thank you Bang, I miss it

Dear buddy,

keep spirit, keep study :)

Yes, indeed. Thank you buddy :D

you did not paraphrase the question

The question includes in the picture attached, all written in the writing field is my work. However, may I get the specific part, reason and also a possible suggestion related to my intro.


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