I am a beginner here. I am trying to improve my essay writing skills.
Below is my first practice essay. Kindly evaluate it and mention what improvements are needed.
Any help in this regard is highly appreciated.
Topic:
Young people frequently fall into the trap of assuming that the difficulties they face today are greater and more troublesome than those faced by previous generations. As they gain experience and maturity, however, they eventually become aware of falsity of this assumption:
The author of this argument is trying to explain the different phases of our life from young age to maturity. The claim is quite reasonable as many youngsters think that they are facing much tougher time than their previous did. The reason of this immature assumption is the lack of experience. Sooner, when youngsters turn into a mature level they realize that, they are living in a much better world as they have enormous facilities like fast and comfortable travelling, better health conditions, good education, improved living environment, great comforts of electronic appliances etc.
In young age many of us think that we are facing a tough time than our previous did, because we have to live in a congested environment, polluted atmosphere, competitive and fast life style and less time for extra curricular activities and family. As a young child we have a burden of tough education and have to be independent in teenage. Out door sports are limited to computer games and indoor activities because of less time and playgrounds.
But sooner one can realize that we have much better conditions than our old generations. We have better transportation, good health cares, easy ways of communication and luxurious living style because of several home appliances. We are connected to the world through fast media and internet.
The basic reasons for this change of thinking is that after experiences of life and a better education we are able to realize that we have many facilities that our previous ones haven't. We have to do less physical efforts as a lot of work is done by machines. Thanks to automation, our much of work is done on its own. Heavy machinery led into the development of huge mega structures and fast ways of transportation. Today, we have better medical facilities and have less dangers of getting infected by fatal diseases. Our communication is very fast now and we can communicate in any part of the world in seconds. Computer era has played a huge role in making our life comfortable. We can control our devices; do accurate jobs, complex calculations, and many more.
Hence, there is no doubt that today we are enjoying the blessings of science and are in a much better and safer world. Our early age false assumptions can be minimized by better understanding of life in young age. Education, here, can play a key role. We should also try to reduce the burden on young generation, so our youngsters can enjoy their childhood in today's modern world.
Below is my first practice essay. Kindly evaluate it and mention what improvements are needed.
Any help in this regard is highly appreciated.
Topic:
Young people frequently fall into the trap of assuming that the difficulties they face today are greater and more troublesome than those faced by previous generations. As they gain experience and maturity, however, they eventually become aware of falsity of this assumption:
The author of this argument is trying to explain the different phases of our life from young age to maturity. The claim is quite reasonable as many youngsters think that they are facing much tougher time than their previous did. The reason of this immature assumption is the lack of experience. Sooner, when youngsters turn into a mature level they realize that, they are living in a much better world as they have enormous facilities like fast and comfortable travelling, better health conditions, good education, improved living environment, great comforts of electronic appliances etc.
In young age many of us think that we are facing a tough time than our previous did, because we have to live in a congested environment, polluted atmosphere, competitive and fast life style and less time for extra curricular activities and family. As a young child we have a burden of tough education and have to be independent in teenage. Out door sports are limited to computer games and indoor activities because of less time and playgrounds.
But sooner one can realize that we have much better conditions than our old generations. We have better transportation, good health cares, easy ways of communication and luxurious living style because of several home appliances. We are connected to the world through fast media and internet.
The basic reasons for this change of thinking is that after experiences of life and a better education we are able to realize that we have many facilities that our previous ones haven't. We have to do less physical efforts as a lot of work is done by machines. Thanks to automation, our much of work is done on its own. Heavy machinery led into the development of huge mega structures and fast ways of transportation. Today, we have better medical facilities and have less dangers of getting infected by fatal diseases. Our communication is very fast now and we can communicate in any part of the world in seconds. Computer era has played a huge role in making our life comfortable. We can control our devices; do accurate jobs, complex calculations, and many more.
Hence, there is no doubt that today we are enjoying the blessings of science and are in a much better and safer world. Our early age false assumptions can be minimized by better understanding of life in young age. Education, here, can play a key role. We should also try to reduce the burden on young generation, so our youngsters can enjoy their childhood in today's modern world.
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