Obesity: causes and solutions
In many countries people are concerned about the number of children who are overweight. What do you think are the causes of this what solutions can you suggest
One of the major problems we are faced with today is obesity. The number of young people who suffer from overweightness is increasing at an alarming rate. It is vitally important to know the underlying causes then find suitable solutions to alleviate the problem.
To begin with, there is a strong correlation between obesity and the excessive consumption of junk food. In the world of speed, children have difficulties in getting a nutritious and healthy eating. Therefore, the frequency in consuming sugary and fat intakes is the alternative choice to provide energy. In addition, with the proliferation of fast food restaurants, these unhealthy food is consumed on a regular basicso that the adolescents are at risk of being overweight. The problem could be solved by banning harmful junk food in places such as schools and restaurants. Moreover, a balanced diet which is high in vitamins and nutrients is also of great importance to tackle the problem. To be more specific, people should encourage students to eat in moderation by eating more vegetables and fruits and lessening the amount of high-calorie food.
The rise in obesity of teenagers an be attributed to the sedentary lifestyle. Recently, children are required to work hard and do well academically so that they hardly have sufficient time to do outdoor physical activities. They devote a great deal of time to doing the academic work instead of having a workout. Additionally, with the advent of technology, children tend to play computer games, watch television rather than play sports, do exercise. A useful suggestion would be to increase the time for sports and outdoor activities between lessons to promote the students' well-being. The amount of stressful homework at schools should be reduced for the sake of children's health to be more energetic.
To sum up, overweightness is a major issue in many countries. Some proactive measures should be taken to boost people's life expectancy.@Cay nho
Hello there. Thanks for coming back to the forum.. I hope you find the feedback here productive for your learning process.
Firstly, I find that you had quite a strong introduction for your essay. You were able to detail a bold and firmly put thesis statement that enabled the readers to comprehend the underlying reasons you had tapped into. I would only recommend trying to improve your essay by enhancing the overall tone and language of your writing.
Furthermore, your second paragraph is too hefty. Try to shorten and make it more concise, enabling the readers to have a clearer view without being baffled with content. You may also separate it into two shorter paragraphs to make it easier to dissect.
Best of luck as always.
