Difficulties of urban life.

the combination of the government and our society

People are living in large cities today face many problems in their everyday life.
What are these problems?
Should government encourage people to move to a smaller regional towns?

The urban people, nowadays, have to cope with numerous challenges in their life. I believe there are three main problems associated with this situation, but also three remedies we can adopt.

Perhaps the major problem of the urban life is the availability to obtain occupation. The majority of people living in developing cities come from poor and backward rural. It is very difficult for them to find suitable occupation as they lack of skills and do not accumulate enough experience. Consequently, it is inevitable they have to get daily-wage job to earn money. Another problem linked to the jobless is that a great deal people are homeless, which is drastically increasing in big cities. For instance, people, who are short of money, need to sleep on the sidewalks rather than cozy beds. Finally, we should take this problem into consideration. The quality of the air in many cities is declining dramatically day by day. This is because the smoke from factories and transportation increasing makes the air dirty. Homeless people sleeping outside have to breathe the unclean atmosphere, therefore, their respiratory system will be gradually destroyed.

Turing to solutions, the biggest step would improve the level of life with regard to job, health. The government should encourage people to return back to their hometown. This can be possible if the media and the government raise rural people awareness of the abundance of natural's provision. Further step, the supervision should support to establish schools for specialize them more skills to exploit the diverse resources. Furthermore, to solve life's quality, we can help through raising fund and subsidize them allowing people to manage their life better.

In conclusion, the key problems of this situation can be addressed through the combination of the government and our society.

While you wrote just the right number of words for this essay, the main problem with your presentation will be with regards to the coherence and cohesiveness of your presentation. There is a lack of clarity in your discussion presentations. I do not know if it is because you are transliterating the sentences from your native tongue to the English language or, if you really do not have a good grasp of the English sentence structures yet. You will definitely not get a passing score in 3 sections: LR, GRA, and C&C.

There is an extreme difficulty on the part of the reader when it comes to trying to understand what you are trying to say in your sentences and paragraphs. You appear to have a problem with sentence structures and lack properly developed subject sentences. You have redundancies in your presentation (return back means the same thing. To return, means to go back) and you do not show an analytical ability in your sentence presentation.

The analytical ability lies in the clarity of your explanation which, sad to say, are quite problematic in this presentation. I strongly urge you to learn how to write simple English sentences first. Do not use task 2 essays yet. Just write about simple subjects and topics. Try to keep writing until you learn how to properly structure English sentences using proper sentence formations and vocabulary. In fact, there are so many errors in this presentation that I do not know where to begin. Which is why I am focusing my advice on your biggest writing problem instead.

While your second paragraph is the least problematic of your presentation, you failed to use connected discussion presentations in that paragraph. You needed only 2 connected topics in that presentation, properly connected by a transition sentence and containing information that helps to clarify how the problems are related and how the problems are related to the solutions you would be presenting next.

Do not focus just on the word count. Nobody cares if you write a lot of English words when your sentences are not clearly explained and not easy to understand. Focus on clarity of your declarations. Your vocabulary and word count will come naturally from there.

I think in the opening, you dont neccessaily have to mention "three remedies", and I think the transition to the third paragraph you should use a more formal wword choice

Hi,

I have some recommendations that you can consider.
the urban
an occupation
suitable occupations
lack of skills. "lack of something" structure is used as a subject only
natural's nature's provision
a further step

I believe that you should make your sentences more formal.