Discuss some problems of living in large cities

Task :

People living in large cities today face many problems in their everyday life.

What are these problems? Should governments encourage people to move to smaller regional towns?

Task performance

In the context of the megatrend of urbanisation, people tend to move to major cities in hope of having a better life. However, they are now confronted with many daily problems. This essay will discuss two of these problems which justifies why I believe that governments should motivate people to turn to live in suburban areas.

Everyday, people living in big cities constantly have to deal with high living costs and low air quality. The former problem may be the consequence of the nonstop advance of living condition in the city. Therefore, to gain a better life, people have to earn a living to cover their basic expenses such as housing, food, healthcare and utility bills which are often much higher than in other regions. Some people may not be able to earn enough money to make ends meet and have to live in narrow, uncomfortable spaces and suffer from poor life. The latter one is partly due to the greater volume of industrial fumes and exhaustion from vehicles, especially during rush hours. This is the reason why people in big cities like Beijing are more likely to suffer from a variety of respiratory problems related to air contamination.

In my opinion, city residents should be encouraged to move to regional areas. Firstly, costs of living in these regions are much cheaper so that they can afford to pay for a more comfortable life. This as well relieves the pressure on housing supply in cities where many people are forced to live in very narrow accommodation. Moreover, if people move away from metropolises, the population density in these cities will be decreased, which leads to lower volumes of vehicles, critically reducing the levels of air pollution.

To conclude, I can firmly say that high living expenses and air contamination are among the most prevalent problems facing city residents these days. To gradually solve these problems, I believe that governments should motivate people to move to suburban and satellite cities.

I am looking forwards to your comments. Thank you for your reading!

You only needed the last 2 sentences for your thesis statement. You did not need to add the first sentence because it does not contain any information from the original prompt. You just used it to make your essay longer, which did not add any substance to your presentation anyway. Rather, you altered the original information presentation so expect to receive penalties for including that sentence in the presentation.

Your second paragraph is just confusing to read due to the first 2 sentences. It is repetitive, without any actual information that could help progress the discussion. You only need 5 sentences per paragraph, that makes sense to the reader.

However, you did a good job with the third paragraph presentation and your conclusion. So just pay attention to the errors I pointed out, do not repeat it in the next essay, and you should do just fine. You have the potential to write good essays that can get good scores. So focus on the important part. Stay within the 275-290 word count to help you create better discussion paragraphs.