Unanswered [10] | Urgent [0]

Home / Writing Feedback % width Posts: 3

IELTS TASK 2:Discuss pros and cons for the young between gap year and starting university studies.

cath1803 1 / 2  
Feb 22, 2021   #1

gap year in university

The period which student are devised to travel or experience for a year is known as gap year. It can be said that gap year is really popular in the world. Thus,there are strongness and weakness if a student decide to have a gap year.

After graduated in highschool means student have gone through a pressure time and need more activities to relax. When choosing in stopping transient study course,young people can take part in of social activities as build up more relationship.In addition, they can give a try to apply some jobs,which has vacancies,for having more knowledge on each field.Moreover,travelling is one of common choices that virtual graduated student want to try. During gap year,student almost get extra realistic knowledge, which may not be taught in school. Additionally,they can get cristic complainment if they are in probationary period. Sometimes,it make the youth can not put up with anymore but they can be given preciate lessons.

On the other view,many student have no interest in putting one year for free and relax. They decide to study in university immediately after high school instead of spending time for gap year. By their thoughts,having gotten bachelor of university earlier than student who do gap year at least one year is totally possible.They do not go along with opinion that gap year can bring more experience because they also can get jobs or social skill on outside activities during university time.

Personally,I prefer getting gap year to starting university studies.Although it can bring to me both pros and cons,I think it have many amazing things for my new adventure.
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 10,377 3372  
Feb 23, 2021   #2
Be careful with your vocabulary. Using the wrong word in a sentence will result in LR deductions. For example, in the first sentence of the first paragraph, you said

"student are devised to travel"

The correct phrase formation is:

"...students are advised to travel..."

That is based on the difference in word meaning:

Devise - to form a plan

Advised - informed

Making a recommendation to a student to travel is along the lines of "advisement". There are several other LR problems in your presentation that would actually take up all of my time if I were to give you a vocabulary lesson throughout this essay. Let us put it this way, you need to better understand English word meaning and how to properly use these in a sentence. The word usage problem is proving to be a big one for you in this presentation.

The paragraphs also lack a sense of clarity and meaning. Thus failing to provide cohesive and coherent discussion topics. I believe that this is being caused by the transliteration of your presentation from Vietnamese thoughts to English words. It is important that you begin practicing thinking and writing only in English. That is the only way you can solve the problem of clarity in your written presentations.

Based on this essay, I can say that you are not yet prepared to write Task 2 essays. You should start by writing general essays instead. Ones that will focus on word usage, sentence formation, and clarity of presentation more than anything else. You may contact me privately if you wish to receive guidance regarding building your writing skills.
OP cath1803 1 / 2  
Feb 23, 2021   #3
@Holt thank you so much

Home / Writing Feedback / IELTS TASK 2:Discuss pros and cons for the young between gap year and starting university studies.