Unanswered [1] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width   Posts: 3


IELTS TASK 2 - Discussion on giving financial or practical aid to developing countries



stacy422 3 / 4  
Sep 13, 2018   #1

the type of support needed the most



Developing countries require help offered by international organizations to ensure healthy and sustainable development. Some people think that financial help is important. Others believe that practical aid and advice is more important. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Concerning aid provided by organizations to help developing countries achieve sustainable development. some people believe financial support is more important than practical help and advice while others hold the opposite opinion. In this essay, I will discuss both views and elaborate on my thoughts.

To provide money is crucial to development in various ways. To start with, giving money means the country has self-determination rights on how they want to improve, regarding infrastructure, education and so much more. In addition, money instead of free objects and stimulate the domestic economy, leading to a healthy market mechanism.

On the other hand, giving out practical help such as food, skill training, and medical service is also important. Firstly, if one nation is underdeveloped, there might be things that could not be bought, for instance, medical equipment. Secondly, empowering people through various kinds of training can make people have the ability to change his/her life on his own. In fact, when people only receive can and free stuff, welfare dependency might be acquired, depriving one's awareness to work form himself.

Taking both views into consideration, I believe both ways of helping are equally vital. How these two methods put into practice for the benefit of the nation is a difficult but certainly significant issue every international organization should constantly think about.

In conclusion, there are many reasons why people argue that whether financial or practical help is more important while I believe they are crucial in the same way.

Holt  Educational Consultant - / 15384  
Sep 14, 2018   #2
Shi, I have to say that even though your broken English is a bit hard to get through during the first reading (it took me 2 readings to finally understand what you are trying to say within the whole essay), you are making some very valid and good points in the presentation. I believe that you have a good understanding of the English language, but a difficult time expressing yourself in English. Therefore, you must do more English sentence development exercises such as multiple choice and fill in the blank sentence completion exercises online. These are available for free as apps or on grammar websites.

Just remember that you need to consistently present a 3-5 sentence structure per paragraph in order to create a higher possible score for yourself under the C&C consideration. That means, you should clearly explain a single topic per paragraph. The 3 -5 sentence requirement represents the number of sentences that comprise a complete paragraph.

Basically, this is a unique discussion that, for the first time actually took a stance of unique presentation to the reader. I have not seen an essay discussed this way yet for this topic so, if you can just improve your sentence development skills, I strongly believe that you will score highly in this type of test.
Nhat Px 3 / 4  
Sep 14, 2018   #3
I think you should give your opinion in the opening like : While people think.... I personally believe.... Remember that the topic require you to discuss both of view and give your opinion. So, let us see what your point of view

"giving money means the country ..." = Financing emergent nations enables them to have ....(I think it is clearer to understand).

"... of free objects and stimulate (stimulate/promptly stimulate) the domestic ...". This sentence is hard to follow.


Home / Writing Feedback / IELTS TASK 2 - Discussion on giving financial or practical aid to developing countries
Do You Need
Academic Writing
or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳

Academic AI Writer:
Custom AI Writer ◳