Unanswered [7] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width   Posts: 2


IELTS Writing Task 2 Discussion - The study of food science and its preparation



phatblack 2 / 2  
Apr 9, 2021   #1
Some people think students should study the science of food and how to prepare it. Others think students should spend time on important subjects.

Discuss both views and give your own opinion.



Essay:

People's opinions differ as to whether or not students should take courses on food science and preparation. Although there are some strong arguments in favour of the teaching of food as a subject in schools, I still support the view that this idea is problematic and completely impractical.

The positive implications of food teaching in schools are often discussed in terms of its impact on students' dietary habits. It is recognized that teenagers engaged in nutrition education activities are more likely to make healthy food choices and have greater acceptance of eating a variety of foods. At the same time, this would also lead to reduced reliance on precooked, convenience foods that are proven to provide little nutritional value and have a detrimental effect on their health, as they are equipped with cooking skills to prepare their own meals. Clearly all of these things will ensure a nutritionally adequate and balanced diet among these students, therefore promoting health and well-being and reducing the risks of overweight and obesity in childhood and adolescence.

In spite of the above arguments, I share the concerns of people who believe that the teaching of food could cause unnecessary difficulties. Firstly, there is no doubt that recipe ingredients and large pieces of equipment, such as ovens and fridges, needed for an entire class or for multiple classes might be costly. Classes in schools with low budgets therefore may lack some cooking essentials, and this could lead to limited class size or even ineffective teaching. Secondly, many schools struggle to design a specific curriculum for subjects other than the core ones, which means there may not be time for a separate food and nutrition course. This would explain why it is often integrated into the teaching of such science subjects like biology and chemistry, and currently this seems to be the best system.

In conclusion, while the teaching of nutrition and food preparation in schools might seem like a good idea, I do not see it as workable and strictly necessary.(335 words)

Holt  Educational Consultant - / 15388  
Apr 10, 2021   #2
This is a 5 paragraph discussion essay. The format for the information presentation should be based on a 2 paragraph general discussion along with a single paragraph personal opinion. Based on the way that you framed your prompt restatement, you failed to accomplish the required discussion format presentation. Your thesis statement is based on a singular personal opinion as opposed to the 3 reasons presentation expectation. Your restatement should clearly state each public point of view before your supporting opinion for one of the two presentations.

While you wrote more than the required word count, the fact that you did not properly follow the discussion instruction means that your length did nothing for your score. It is useless to write an extremely long essay such as this, when it disregards the discussion requirement that the score will be based on. The essay focuses only on topic presentations but do not carry a clear explanation, with examples, of why these reasons should be considered proper for the discussion. There is a lack of clarity in the overall discussion presentation.


Home / Writing Feedback / IELTS Writing Task 2 Discussion - The study of food science and its preparation
Need Writing or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳

Academic AI Writer:
Custom AI Writer ◳