Writing Task 2: Some people think that students should study the science of food and how to prepare

students to learn the science of food and how to cook

Please have a look at my essay:
People hold different views about how students should allocate their studying time. While many people argue that it is necessary for students to learn the science of food and how to cook, other argue that they should spend their time on subjects of more importance. This essay will examine both perspectives and give an opinion afterwards.

On the one hand, there are various compelling reasons why people believe that learning the science of food and food preparation is beneficial for students. One of which is that the awareness of food intake could be enhanced if they are taught about how food is made, processed and its nutrition. This will lead to the increased responsibility in the eating habit. Also, students who have culinary skills may guarantee the quality of dishes they make. Consequently, a nutritionally home-made meal can result in the improvement of well-being, leading to a rise in their studying productivity.

On the other hand, I do believe that it is better for students to study other vital subjects. Nowadays, there are several academic subjects which are strongly required in the job market. Take English and technology as bright examples, if students do not master them, they cannot land a decent job with lucrative salary, which secures a good quality for their lives. Another striking reason is that not every student shows a keen interest in cooking and there are numerous nutrient experts who are in charge of studying and educating the public about culinary knowledge. Therefore, it must be better for students to focus their study on essential courses rather than food science.

To conclude, while the improvements in eating habit and health are reasonable reasons to support the view that students should learn the science of food and cooking methods, I am of opinion that they should allocate their time for subjects which are able to lead them to a better life.

I do not see an appropriate personal opinion provided in the discussion points. Based on the way you represented the prompt paraphrase, it appears you were aiming to respond using the 3 paragraph response, which means your personal opinion should have its own stand alone paragraph that will either support or argue against the given discussion points. Failure to do so, and merely mentioning your personal opinion in the concluding paragraph will result in a failed score for your essay. That is because the format for the task 2 essay does not allow you to discuss the personal opinion in the concluding paragraph. You need to familiarize yourself with the proper method by which you can respond to this type of prompt. The best way would be to allow yourself time to form an opinion for each point of view and present it in the related paragraph. That way you do not run the risk of over writing nor incorrectly presenting your personal opinion.