Unanswered [2] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 2

Diverging trends in the shares of money spent on five different items in four countries


ryan31 65 / 96 15  
Oct 29, 2016   #1
The graph gives the information about the proportion of money spent on five different items in 2009 and it is measured in the percentage. Overall, except Japan, all countries spent their household budget on housing.

Comparing the countries, it is found that the United States showed it is superiority on both housing and healthcare at 26 and 7 percent, but it was the least spender on clothing and food. Meanwhile, Japan predominated on food but was the lowest on transportation, at the same time, Canada witnesses the highest rate among all in clothing at 5 and transportation at 20 whereas it is an expense on housing was the least.

Turning to health care and clothing, United States dominated it is expenditure on health care at 7%. This following by Canada and Japan having the same proportion while the lowest position was occupied by the UK. Meanwhile, all countries had a less marked difference on healthcare and the domination was seen in Canada figure.




fadhilmd25 41 / 75 11  
Oct 29, 2016   #2
Dear Ryan, there are some advices for your writing, feel free to correct my responses,

... information about the percentage of proportion of money ...

Overall, except Japan, all countries spent ... -->
Overall,all countries with exception of Japan spent their household budget on housing.

Japan predominated on food but ... -->
The lowest percentage in transportation is predominated by Japan --> try to make various types of sentence

Overall, your writing is well improved apart from the grammatical errors occur recurrently, try to make more than 150 words for task 1, hope it helps you to improve your writing,

Regards


Home / Writing Feedback / Diverging trends in the shares of money spent on five different items in four countries