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"Dominican Republic and grades" - descriptive essay about a personal experience



eve13 1 / 1  
Feb 23, 2011   #1
An easy life

Have you had an easy life? Many people would answer no to that question, but I would answer yes. In my life I have never heard of anyone ever stumbling on something while sitting down. Problem and disappointments are part of life and it makes us grow as a person and gradually make us realize how much better one can be. However I had to surpass many adversities to get to that conclusion.

It was June morning my mother had gone to pick up my grades, at my school, in Dominican Republic the grades are only given to legal guardians and in some cases to the student. I was very anxious that day my math scores weren't that good and I knew it. My mom isn't a very forgiving person when it came to grades. That morning I looked at the clock a for hours wondering what my destiny would be, I found myself praying to god that my grades were at least a 80. It was 12:30 when I heard some footsteps; I guessed it was my mom, I was right. At that moment I could feel the tension in my body.

Suddenly she opened the door; I waited until she sat down.
"How are my grades", I asked without a fear my attention was fixed on her.
"They were good... "She paused.
I knew something was wrong when she paused.
Then she added "your math scores were a bit low so I asked your teacher if there was something I could do she suggested summer classes to reinforce your math skills, so I signed you up"

As soon as she said that I went into panic mode .I had gone through hell to get that scores, now I had to go through that again. I found myself looking at the phone thinking of calling my father but once my mother set his mind on something there was nobody in the planet that would change her mind. I paused then I started again.

"What days did you signed me up for?" I asked.
"Tuesdays and Fridays" she said. "And don't worry I already told your father about it" she added
I couldn't argue with her at that moment I felt like I was the most miserable person in the earth.
So I said ok I'll go.
When my father got home it was already dark and I was really upset. Still I kept my calm and told my father the reasons why I didn't deserve to be taking classed in summer my father made a face and told me

You know, you remind me of the cows in this certain book he said laughing
I asked him why
He responded" well in life you are either a rhino or a cow, right now you are looking like a cow but your mom and I want you to be a rhino The most important ingredient of being an effective Rhino is your attitude, think about it"

I sat down in the couch in which my father was sitting and I reflected on those words. Regardless of what I had though before about my father had always given me good advice, the next day I thought about my father's words. That summer I conquered my fear of math, and every time I felt down and didn't want to get up I thought to myself I'm a rhino, I'm full of energy and can't not wait to face the world.

EF_Kevin 8 / 13053  
Feb 25, 2011   #2
Have you had an easy life? Many people would answer "no" to that question, but I would answer "yes."---Nice intro! I added some " marks :-)

In my life I have never heard of anyone ever stumbling on something while sitting down.

And right here you have a verb tense inconsistency: My mom isn't a very forgiving person when it came comes to grades.

Use a comma here: "And don't worry I already told your father about it," she added.

And this needs " marks:
So I said, "okay, I'll go." But really, you should just keep it simple. You do not even need this sentence.

When my father got home it was already dark, and I was really upset.
... and told me, "You know, you remind me of the cows in this certain book." He was laughing. I asked him why, and he responded,"Well, in life ...

Ha ha, it is not nice to call a kid a cow. :-) Just kidding, I think your parents have wisdom.
OP eve13 1 / 1  
Feb 27, 2011   #3
thank you so muchhhhhh :)


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