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IELTS: What can be done to discourage people from using their cars?


nguoi_co_doc 7 / 16 10  
Sep 3, 2014   #1
I choose a very classic essay. So, It is not easy for me to have more new ideas on this essay. Most of solution here can be found in the previous essay. I've just written it by using my own languages. Hope to get more ideas (solutions from you). Please give me feedback on my essay. thanks so much

There is a good deal of evidence that increasing car use is contributing to global warming and having other undesirable effect on people's health and wellbeing.

What can be done to discourage people from using their cars?


In recent years, there has been a growing number of people using cars. This leads to some serious consequences such as pollution, climate change, and deterioration people's health and theses problems need our immediate attention. This question as to how to discourage people from using their cars will be analyzed in this essay.

One feasible approach is that governments invest in building and developing public infrastructure transportation networks. By improving the quality of service, reducing cost, they can encourage commuters to use public transportation.

Moreover, another possible remedy would be to make the cars more expensive and not easy to own. In particular, government can impose taxes such as property tax, carbon tax, highway tax use for maintaining roads and bridges. With the increasing in the cost of people's possession, they will change their habits by not using their private cars and start using public .

The most effective solution would be to educate the commuters. Politicians can make residents follow their examples by using some environmental vehicles, like bicycles, or even walking. Furthermore, some public transportation companies should be encouraged to advertise on mass media a service that is both cheap and has a high frequency with cheap price and greater frequency. Importantly equal, educational systems can teach children about the efficiency of using public transport and point out the damage caused by the use of private vehicles. Hence, education can generate the huge effect on a tremendous scale.

To put it briefly, it is obvious that the disadvantages of increasing car use causes many adverse repercussion for our civilization. Therefore, I would like to emphasize and reiterate that discouraging people using cars is inevitable. It is a necessary action to protect our green planet and communities' health

vangiespen - / 4,137 1449  
Sep 3, 2014   #2
The reasons that you present within the paper are quite common knowledge. So there is no surprise there. I agree that the topic is quite common and has been discussed to death over the past years in all forms of communication. However, that did not reduce the importance of your observations and suggestions. I was specially impressed with your suggestion that the politicians use alternative forms of transportation in order to serve as examples to their constituents regarding the matter of discouraging people from using cars. Some points of grammatical advice though:

theses problems need our immediate attention.

they will change their habits by not using their private cars and start using public .

- ... public transportation .

The most effective solution would be to educate the commuters

- commuters about the environmental impact of continued car use.

Furthermore, some public transportation companies should be encouraged to advertise on mass media a service that is both cheap and has a high frequency with cheap price and greater frequency .

- ... public transport companies should be encouraged to develop cheaper methods of transportation that will result in a faster,yet cheaper method of commuting

Importantly equal, educational systems can teach children about the efficiency of using public transport and point out the damage caused by the use of private vehicles. Hence, education can generate the huge effect on a tremendous scale .

- Educational systems should teach...

To put it briefly, it is obvious that the disadvantages of increasing car use causes many adverse repercussion for our civilization. Therefore, I would like to emphasize and reiterate that discouraging people using cars is inevitable. It is a necessary action to protect our green planet and communities' health

- It is obvious... discouraging people from using cars is...

See if the essay will flow better for you with these suggestions. There is still room to develop discussion points in all the paragraphs but I am not sure if you are limited by a word count so let me just say that the points presented were quite well thought out but in need of further development and supporting evidence.
swathi_12345 7 / 13 5  
Sep 3, 2014   #3
Essay is clear and coherent. There are few grammatical errors which you might need to work on. Some of them I am highlighting below. Hope this helps.

mass media - a service that

This sentence should be corrected - "that is both cheap and has a high frequency with cheap price and greater frequency "

Importantly equal , education systems

Hence, education can generate the huge effect on a tremendous scale -> It is not properly linked to your previous sentence, you can continue that sentence by saying "which would help reduce .."


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