Hello Wiratmaja_Dicky, I suggest you to read many sample answer as much as you can to improve your writing skill. In the introduction, we have to paraphrase the prompt as the general information. If I'm not wrong, it is one of the question in the IELTS on tracks.
The table chart illustrates personal savings as a percentage of personal loans in several nations in 1970, 1990 and 2000, a period of three decades. The chart shows data from seven nations there are Canada, France, Germany, Italy, Japan, UK and USA. The dramatically fluctuations are composite by Canada, Italy, Japan and France.
It is bulky introductory paragraph.The table illustrates how people in Canada, France, Germany, Italy, Japan, The United Kingdom and The United States save their money based on a percentage of personal income from 1970 to 2000, a period of 3 decades and is measured in percent.
Over all, the personal savings as a percentage of personal loans in listed nations recorded decreased among three decades.
you can use ; Overall,It is clear that ...It is noticeable that...
Overview is the part that you have to write the key trendIt is noticeable that the majority of citizens in five countries experienced a significant drop at personal saving, while the percentage of personal savings in Britain and Japan witnessed negatively correlated.
According to table list on last period, 2000 years, France and Japan were in first positions in the percentage of saving loans per-persons on these two nations were 13,6 % ,
however whereas the trend in each nations were different.
rewrite the entire of body paragraph.
Let me show you how to structure the sentences.A percentage of personal income who lived in Italia decreased significantly from 29.5 percent to 17.6 percent between 1970 and 1990, a drop of about 11.9 percent. In sharp contrast to this, personal saving as a percentage of wages in Germany remained reasonably stable at 13.8, a period of two decades, while Canadian had a sharp increase for personal savings from 5.6% in 1970 to 11.5% in 1990.
In my opinion, this essay gains band 5.
Pay attention to;
1. Subject verb agreement. Read a good grammar book.
2. Use appropriate linker
3. Clarity is important than complex sentences.Do not make your reader confuse.
4. Pick up your key points properly. Divide the datum into 2 group that you can write them into different body paragraph. For example, you can mention the differences in the body paragraph 1 and the sameness in the body paragraph 2.
5. Remember, a pattern is quite important to improve your score.
6. Ask to your teacher how to build a paragraph in the writing task 1.