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IS EATING NO MEAT AND FISH REALLY SO BENEFICIAL?


alif 12 / 13 2  
Jun 14, 2015   #1
Some people choose to eat no meat or fish.
They believe that this is not only better for their own health but also benefits the world as a whole. Discuss this view and give your own opinion.


Health has become a potential aspect for people's lives. For this reason, people tend to prevent consuming meat and fish because maintaining a healthy lifestyle is a must. Interestingly, this renders positive effects to all people in around the world as well. While it is utterly acceptable, since people determine not to eat meat and fish so as to remove blood tension and balance ecosystem, I am totally convinced that an excellent healthy life is influenced by a balance diet among these sources for human's body growth.

Some people consider health factors in consuming cattle and fish because this diet affects blood tension to people who suffer from chronic diseases such as cancer and obesity. Therefore, they prefer consuming dish from vegetables and fruits, such as salad, carrot and spinach. For instance, Chinese are of certain habit to eat vegetables every time and assume that meat is not needed for human's lives. By doing so, they are protected from diseases in their lives. As such, this presently has caused a prominent trend in human's healthy body.

On the other hand, people who neglect meat can keep balance of ecosystem, since this way is believed to reduce negative impacts of the environment. What over fishing for food causes many fish species in sea experiences a dramatic decline. If people remove eating fish food, this can assist to prevent the population of fish. In addition to this, the strike movement to the policy of government in criminal action that against environmental issue such as cruel animal slaughtering is the chief condition which must be solved sooner.

My own personal point of view for this case, the excellent healthy life should be gained by balance diet. Beside of consuming vegetables, other sources of vitamins and protein could be merely extracted from meat and fish. For example, salmon fish produce a certain type of oil nutrients which benefit the growth of children. Likewise, amino acid found in red meat is believed to improve human's brain development.

The aforementioned evidence reveal that it is undeniable vegetarian can reduce considerable harm from meals of livestock, even this utterly render positive effect to the environment. To the certain point, I would agree with some statements of this motion, but meat and fish also contain crucial aspect to our body such as oils and amino acid for body development. I strongly believe that if we enable to consume healthy balanced dish among vegetables, and meat and fish, it would create our body become perfect health in human's lives.

justivy03 - / 2,367 607  
Jun 14, 2015   #2
- Health has become a potentialcritical ( "potential" is like health is an option when it's clearly not) aspect for people's lives.

- For this reason, people tend to prevent consuming meat and fish because maintaining a healthy lifestyle is a must .

- Interestingly, this renders positive effects to all people in around the world as well.

- While it is utterly acceptable, since people are determine not to eat meat and fish...

- Therefore, they prefer consuming dish fromthat has vegetables and fruits, such as salad, carrot and spinach.

- For instance, Chinese are of certain habit tohabitually eat vegetables every time and assume that meat is not needed for human's lives.

- By doing so, they are protected from diseases in their lives .

- As such, This presently hashas recently caused a prominent trend in human's healthy body.

Alif, I made some corrections on your essay. I suggest re-writing it following the way it is written with the corrections.
Also, mind the following;

- the use of linking verbs, has, have, in,on,etc., placing these verbs in the right form and place in the sentence matters a lot

- grammar notes as well should be observed

- sentence construction, you tend to go back and forth on your ideas and thoughts with the essay, I suggest that you answer this questions so you have a plot in your essay;

> what are the benefits of healthy balanced diet

> what do we need to do in order to achieve balance diet without unbalancing the ecosystem

> How do we keep a motivation towards good health

Overall, your essay is a good step to writing more in the future.

Keep writing

Cheers!!!
shintacandrade 10 / 74 87  
Jun 15, 2015   #3
Alif, in order to write introduction, you have to make sure that you put all key words on it.

Some people choose to eat no meat or fish .
They believe that this is not only better for their own health but also benefits the world as a whole . Discuss this view and give your own opinion .


You just need to do two things (IELTS buddy page 33):
1. Give some background to the topic and refer to the topic of the essay using some facts.
2. Tell the reader what will be in your essay.

Let me give a try:

Many people decide to be a vegetarian for health factors as well as environmental reasons which affect on the whole world . While it is utterly acceptable as a healthy diet can be possible without eating meat or fish and the fact that livestock is the second-highest contributor to atmosphere-altering gases (this is some facts supporting the view from the question) , I am totally convinced that an excellent healthy lifestyle needs food supply from animals and the Earth's life can be balanced by raising eco-friendly cattle (while this one is your opinion and its reasons that you will tell in your essay) .

Your intro is good, you just need to do more brainstorming (IELTS buddy page 21).
Hope it helps. Good luck!
OP alif 12 / 13 2  
Jun 30, 2015   #4
@shintacandrade

Thank you miss Shinta...


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