Hello.
I just wrote the following essay for IELTS preparation and I need feedback.
Don't be gentile at all! :)
Some people claim that what people eat in many Western countries is unhealthy and that their diet is getting worse. Critics say that these countries should changes their diet.
What are your opinion on that?
Nowadays people tend to concern about a lot of daily issues, they are overwhelmed with daily activities, but one major topic is left behind: the one regarding the healthiness of our lives.
Almost any day of the week you can look at a newspaper and read stories about youth having problem with weight, with people suffering from diabetes, and a lot of people trying to get rid of the extra kilos.
But what do we actually do? Are we trying to solve this problem, or we are just ignoring it, acting like is something natural, and we have nothing to do in order to solve these issues.
Overweight is going to be one of the biggest global problem that our generation will face, if we don't take attitude.
The aim of this essay is to demonstrate that individuals must take responsibility for their own health, and make the right decisions about the food they are eating.
In fact we all need to eat in order to survive and to be healthy. Why are we Western people, using this against us?
There are some cultures, for example Italian one, where people eat in order to enjoy it and they consider this as an hobby. They have a large variety of typical food, that not only is bery tasty, but is very healthy as well.
Instead of copying this lifestyle, we can see that the number of fast foods is increasing considerably. No matter age, or gender, more and more people tend to eat more junk food.
Also supermarkets have a large variety of products, that are easy to cook, but that are so harmful for our lives.
Sometimes is cheaper and quicker to eat unhealthy, but do we really save time and money acting like this?
To draw a conclusion as we still do not understand the long-term effects of a modern diet on our health, more research is needed to make realistic diagnoses.
I just wrote the following essay for IELTS preparation and I need feedback.
Don't be gentile at all! :)
Some people claim that what people eat in many Western countries is unhealthy and that their diet is getting worse. Critics say that these countries should changes their diet.
What are your opinion on that?
Nowadays people tend to concern about a lot of daily issues, they are overwhelmed with daily activities, but one major topic is left behind: the one regarding the healthiness of our lives.
Almost any day of the week you can look at a newspaper and read stories about youth having problem with weight, with people suffering from diabetes, and a lot of people trying to get rid of the extra kilos.
But what do we actually do? Are we trying to solve this problem, or we are just ignoring it, acting like is something natural, and we have nothing to do in order to solve these issues.
Overweight is going to be one of the biggest global problem that our generation will face, if we don't take attitude.
The aim of this essay is to demonstrate that individuals must take responsibility for their own health, and make the right decisions about the food they are eating.
In fact we all need to eat in order to survive and to be healthy. Why are we Western people, using this against us?
There are some cultures, for example Italian one, where people eat in order to enjoy it and they consider this as an hobby. They have a large variety of typical food, that not only is bery tasty, but is very healthy as well.
Instead of copying this lifestyle, we can see that the number of fast foods is increasing considerably. No matter age, or gender, more and more people tend to eat more junk food.
Also supermarkets have a large variety of products, that are easy to cook, but that are so harmful for our lives.
Sometimes is cheaper and quicker to eat unhealthy, but do we really save time and money acting like this?
To draw a conclusion as we still do not understand the long-term effects of a modern diet on our health, more research is needed to make realistic diagnoses.
