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IELTS: Is economic progress only way of measuring Country's Success? Add health care and education



ieltsp 6 / 12  
Nov 19, 2013   #1
Economic progress is often used to measure a country's success. However, some people believe that other factors are more important. What other factors should also be considered when measuring a country's success? Do you think one factor is more important than others?

In the modern world, there is a tremendous competition among the countries of the world to showcase their development to others. Many people believe that financial progress is the mark of nation's development while few others opine differently. It is agreed that other factors such as good health care system and equal educational opportunities also contribute to country's success. These would be discussed in that order in the following essay.

Firstly, providing better medical facilities to all of the citizens in a country helps to improve the standard of living. For example, if the government offers vaccines for common diseases at subsidized cost, this would help eradicate these from the society. This not only increases the standard of the living but also has a positive effect on number of tourist's visiting to treat their ailments. This clearly shows that improving the health standards would directly impact the development of a nation.

Secondly, offering equal educational opportunities to all of its residents helps to strengthen the nation's human resources. With rise in the number of available skilled labor directly improves the quality of the finished products. For instance, in China the availability of skilled manpower at lower costs helps it to export finished products to quality obsessed companies like Apple. This helps in tackling the unemployment problems and thus decreases the unrest in country. Thus it is evident that providing equal educational facilities contributes to a country's success.

In conclusion, apart from the financial progress other factors such as health care and education also influence a nation's development. Also the importance of one factor over the other cannot be established as all of the factors have an equal effect on the country

dumi 1 / 6795  
Nov 20, 2013   #2
Firstly, providing better medical facilities to all of the citizens in a country helps to improve the standard of living.

Here you need to give the reason as to why you consider improved medical facilities are a good measurement for deciding the economic development of a country. Your topic is focused on that and in your body paragraphs you must discuss how those factors (which you selected) would be important measurements.

Secondly, the literacy level of the people is an important factor that determines how developed an economy is.
Ericidelia 2 / 3  
Nov 22, 2013   #3
Hi You master a rich amount of words, which decorates your essay accurately.

But personally i would think you have not made a good link between the topic sentence and ends. it seems increased tourists would little relationships with the increased standard of living. and you can not end with the stronger nation coz you have not explained with the increased living standards
OP ieltsp 6 / 12  
Nov 25, 2013   #4
Thanks for your suggestions Dumi. I think i used repeated few main words that I think causes the essay to look odd. Maybe as you suggested using synonyms helps to improve the essay and score too...


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