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IELTS Writing task 2 - essay about Country's goal, Economic progress or others?

eilagandhali 2 / -  
Jan 13, 2018   #1
Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people, however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

countries prosperity factors

Over the decades, the issue about what country's essential goal has been a matter of debate. Some countries put economic progress as the most crucial which is significantly linked to the nation's development. Nevertheless, some argue that educational side has the same level of importance due to the contribution of human resource.

On the one hand, it is believed that economic development is the vital part of country's prosperous level. It is because economic sector contributes directly to the establishment of infrastructures which plays a major role in public services. Another reason is, a better countries' economy can encourage the states themselves to be more independent as they already have a stabile finance. A salient example for this is Swiss which has a good economy development. As a result, it achieves the most prosperous nation with more than 300 countries depend on Swiss rule in economic sector.

On the other hand, many people view that instead of keep economic progress as the most important matter, educational sector plays the equal role which responsible for the quality of the human resource. The countries' workers will be more qualified as they have a higher level of education. Moreover, due to the development of education, the type of skill and knowledge is more varied which can create various skilled employee, and I tend to agree with this view.

To sum up, despite the discussion of the most important country's goal, I tend to believe that education has the equal value with economy.

I wish to get feedback and band score as well.

Holt [Contributor] - / 6,897 1718  
Jan 13, 2018   #2
Sri, unfortunately, you were short by one word in order to meet the minimum word requirement. You wrote only 249 words when the acceptable minimum is 250 words. The result of this highly avoidable error on your part will be an automatic failing score for this essay. Regardless of your content and English vocabulary skills, the minute you fall under the required word count, you will not pass the test. Had you written exactly 250 words or a little over that, it would have been a totally different story and I could serious consider your essay for a passing score. Here is a clue as to how you can always be assured of meeting the minimum word requirement. Always write 5 paragraphs with at least 3 sentences per paragraph. 5 sentences per paragraph would be the best. An additional reason that your essay failed to meet the minimum word count is because you did not discuss your personal opinion, as required by the essay, in a stand alone paragraph. You merely made it a mention in the concluding paragraph, which is a violation of the formatting instructions. The personal opinion is always a stand alone paragraph because that is the paragraph that further illustrates your ability to express yourself in written English. The discussion of the two points of view is all about your English comprehension skills. That is why you should not under develop one discussion over the other or the other two.

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