Unanswered [3]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width   Posts: 3


Edit essay - better life today vs. in nineteenth century - feedback



lovinglife77 3 / 4  
Mar 31, 2010   #1
Were the good old days actually all that good? We must remember that people living in the nineteenth century did not have all the modern conveniences that mane our lives easier. There were no airplanes or cars, no washing machines no televisions or computers. Therefore, it is better to live today in the modern world, than it was to live in the days of horse - drawn carriages.

What is your opinion of the idea that is it better to live today than it was to live in the nineteenth century? Plan and write an essay in which you develop your point of view on this issue. Support your position with reasoning and examples taken from your reading, studies, experience, or observations.


Living in the contemporary world has many more advantages than living in the nineteenth century. Today life is simple, everything ready with just the click of a button. Technological advancements, medical discoveries, globalization - all of this put together have made life enjoyable and comfortable.

Today's life is technologically driven. The cell phone and computer have become the driving force of life completely. The world has become a smaller place with communication becoming so simple. We can talk to relatives living in any part of any country at any time. Communication has transformed from letters and rare encounters by horse - carriages in the nineteenth century. Now, we have emails, telephones and frequent travels because of the fast cars, trains and airplanes. We are also a lot safer since we are able to communicate with our parents and friends throughout the day with just the press of a button on our cell phones.

Another aspect of today's advancements is the boom in the field of medicine. When my mother broke her leg into four pieces two years back, she underwent an operation where an iron rod was installed in her leg. She can now walk and even run like before. This would not have been possible in the nineteenth century where medicine was a mixture of voodoo and postulates. Yet another innovation of the medical industry is the stem-cell. This technology enables doctors to regenerate torn tissues, disfigured organs, bone marrows, nerve cells and is also used to cure cancer.

Every century has its golden moments with the invention of the steam engines and the spinning mills in the nineteenth century. However, today we are absolutely enamored by the technology surrounding us. Life is much more convenient, healthy and pleasurable now.

***

Martini - / 4  
Mar 31, 2010   #2
What subject is this essay for? Is this meant to be an academic essay? In which case you need to provide sources, not talk about personal experiences, e.g. your mother's broken leg.

Do you really agree with the title? Really, consider it. Is life better today? We know that we have better technology, but are people happier? Dissect how we can work out how people felt. History, it is often said, is written by the winners. History gets re-written over time. Some people have argued that it is hard to tell the difference between history, journalism and fiction at times.

You write well, but I think you need to base your work on books and other references rather than using personal opinion if this is a university or college essay.
EF_Kevin 8 / 13052  
Apr 1, 2010   #3
Living in the contemporary world has many more advantages than living in the nineteenth century. --- Yeah, until some crazy nuclear weapon makes the planet uninhabitable.

These--- have
This ---- has
... all of this these, put together, have made life enjoyable and comfortable.

This would not have been possible in the nineteenth century where medicine was a mixture of voodoo and postulates. --- haha, good sentence, but be careful not to be offensive, because "Voodoo" is a religion. "Voudou," from Haiti or something like that.

Yet another innovation of the medical industry is the use of stem cells.

Not many errors!!!!!! :-)


Home / Writing Feedback / Edit essay - better life today vs. in nineteenth century - feedback
ⓘ Need Writing or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms for professional help:

Best Writing Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳