'Education and social disharmony' - IELTS

"Some people think that education system is the only critical factor for development of any country. " - To what extent do you agree to this???

Education forms the basis of any society. A well educated society is always able to deliver best results be it cultural
heights or technical genius. Needless to say that every things comes with its pros and cons. While some people believe
that Educational system is the only critical factor for the development of a country , there are others who consider
educational system to be one of the critical factor for the development of any country.

Education is the necessity of any society.The concept of truth, honesty, trust all these virtues depends very much on
our education. When a child goes to school he not only learns the text that are given in his books but he also learns
lot of other things such as mannerisms, broader view of the world as whole, interactive styles etc. to name a few. When
he sits in class he forgets all the differences of caste and creed and there is only one boss of the class - the teacher.

With education people come across such a lot of real life situations that their analytical and logical part of the brain
starts functioning a lot compared to an uneducated person.

Every year government allocates a huge amount of money for health and hygiene problems.If the citizens of a country are
educated then it will be a lot easier for the government of any country to make them aware of the health hazards. Small
issues such as washing hands properly can be taught more easily. Moreover the root of any family is the woman of the
family. If she is not educated then she will not be able educate her future generations. Moreover problems of increase
in population can also be dealt with if the foundation of any house is strong.

Nevertheless, there are always a night after a day. When a society becomes educated the level of corruption is also very
high. Sophisticated techniques find its way to harm mankind with the high level of education. It is not only education
which brings about development of a country, factors such as correct way of thinking, right judgement for any
situation, social harmony also contribute a lot for the development of any country.

In sum, it can be concluded that even if we include other critical factors for the development of any country the
basics are still the same - Education. If a people of country get the right kind of education they will be inherently
having the right judgement capacity. Social disharmony can be avoided and the growth of any country cannot be stopped.

i do not understand what do you mean ? is it "because of" ?


everything


So confused. Is there any difference between two sentence ? Moreover, the prompt only said "Some people think that education system is the only critical factor for development of any country. " - To what extent do you agree to this??? not the information you added into your introduction. You should paraphrase the prompt then give your opinion


depend




This paragraph is not a counterargument in this essay ( Nevertheless ) because the prompt tell that education system is the only critical factor. If you want to against this, you should mention other factors such as technology, health care system, environment and so on

good hook :)


Beautifully presented idea. However, I like if you finished this intro by stating your opinion.
You have excellent writing skills and I am sure you would go for a flying score. Just pay attention to the above point I mentioned earlier.

Wish you good luck!

Thanks a lot for your comments. i will work towards the mentioned points. well i have one question?
i am always crossing my word limit by margin of 100 words extra. :( will that be an issue?

Nice essay with good ideas. However as this is an argument essay i would suggest you to state your opinion in the introduction paragraph. And the third paragraph that talks on the other other side of argument is not necessary.

Additionally the essay is a bit long with 5 paragraphs in total. In IELTS you've only 40 minutes to complete your Task 2 (20 minutes for Task 1). So a 4 paragraph essay at 280-300 words is best suited. However if you're able to finish the extra 100 words within the stipulated 40 minutes you can write it (there is no upper limit on Ielts essays). But take care that the length of your Task 2 doesn't effect your Task 1.