The effects of moving away from home to attend university

IELTS Writing task 2 - Education

Topic: Many university students live with their families while others live away from home because their universities are in different places. What are the advantages and disadvantages both situations?

In many countries, some high school leavers choose to live independently while pursuing further education while the others stay with their families. In my opinion, this choice has its own merits accompanied by some drawbacks which will be analyzed in this essay.

To begin with, living away from home exerts several benefits to students' lives. One of the key factors leading to this choice is that it could be a lifetime experience for many undergraduates. When living alone, students might have the opportunities of learning self- discipline, taking care of themselves by doing daily household chores such as washing, cooking or cleaning without the help of their parents. Consequently, it will also bring about a golden occasion for students to develop essential living habits which is considered to be the second advantage. To finish all these tasks as well as constantly improve their academic performance at schools simultaneously, students have to equip themselves with vital soft skills, including time-management, adaptability or budgeting and money management. In addition, they would learn how to tolerate and overcome their individual problems, which will not only help harness their many skills, especially problem-solving, but also provide them with a sense of freedom.

On the flip side, it is undeniable that this decision negatively affected some aspects of their lives. Without the support of their families, students have to shoulder a lot more duties and responsibilities, ranging from securing their training process to balancing their budgets. Constantly experiencing such unpleasant situations can put students under great pressure, giving rise to stress-related illnesses. In contrast, one compelling point of staying with families is that students can minimize their expenditure as rent, utility bills and renovations are no longer concerns. As a result, students can set aside financial worries and focus solely on their studies.

In conclusion, despite some beneficial impacts of moving away from home to attend university, it is advisable that each student consider thoroughly before giving his decision.

When you write a comparative essay that asks "what are the advantages and disadvantages", you must avoid giving an opinion in the concluding paragraph. The personal opinion is not required in this discussion as you are not being asked to provide a personal opinion, only a comparison of points of view. So you must simply repeat the topic, reasoning topics, and provide a closing sentence at the end of the concluding summary.

Your opening paraphrase is a run on sentence. Always remember, for clarity and sentence number requirements, it is always better to use only one reference point per sentence. That means, you use one sentence for high school graduates (not leavers) who live in dormitories or apartments, and one for those who live with their families. Then you present the discussion instruction after those.

Don't get used to using word fillers like "To begin with" and "On the flip side". These add to the word count, but do not move the essay forward. Those are also often used memorized phrases used by the IELTS reviewers in the classroom. You will score better once you get used to indicating clear topic sentences as the paragraph openers instead.

Avoid using words of uncertainty in your presentation. These do not help add to the clarity of your presentation. You must use definite sentence presentations. You need to show that you clearly understand and believe in the explanation you are giving. Your first 2 sentences in the first reasoning paragraphs are throwaways. The paragraph would have been better and clearer without those sentences.

Please learn how to focus on the explanation of the topic in the reasoning sentence. You are not being scored on the number of reasons you give in every paragraph. Rather, you are scored on how well you explain 1 or 2 related topics in the paragraph. In both paragraphs, the content becomes confusing to read due to the lack of explanation development in the presentation.

For a better presentation, you can use 2 related advantages in one paragraph, then 2 related disadvantages, that relate to the previous advantage discussion topics. That way, you focus on one presentation clearly per paragraph. One advantage paragraph, one disadvantage paragraph. That way you limit the possibility of creating a confusing paragraph presentation.