Unanswered [25] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 2


ỈELTS 2 - Many people believe that social networking sites cause negative effects


alicegemma 1 / -  
Mar 9, 2024   #1
It is sometimes argued that social media have caused negative effects on each individual and society. While there are some benefits to use social media, I maintain that they still include bad consequences for people.

On the one hand, the idea of surfing social networking sites is beneficial to some extent. Firstly, people can enhance their knowledge when using these virtual platforms. With the Internet, people can use their smartphones to read news, listen to podcast or take online courses for improving their knowledge. Secondly, social networking sites help individuals connect to each other easily. People used to write letters to keep in touch while nowadays they can use quicker methods such as email, and Skype to communicate.

Despite the above mentioned ideas, I believe that social media have caused some side effects. The main reason is to cause phone addiction. Many people spend most of their time overusing virtual platforms such as TikTok, Facebook, Skype and Instagram, as a result, they get addicted to these things and cannot focus on their work. The second reason relates to social interaction. Due to the convenience of social media, people are lazy to hang out and have face-to-face meetings with their friends in order to establish good relationships in society.

In conclusion, while some maintain that social networking sites benefit people in society in some extent, I believe that they are still followed by negative impact. Therefore, people should be aware of balancing their time spending on virtual world and real world.
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 14,787 4778  
Mar 10, 2024   #2
bad consequences

Incorrect vocabulary. This is somewhat of a redundancy since bad and consequence actually refer to the same thing. This will have a negative effect on your LR score.

You cannot use a compare and contrast discussion format in this essay. When presented with a single opinion topic, the only expectation that the examiner will have of the exam taker is that he will manage to defend his opinion within 2 supporting paragraphs. You cannot suddenly deviate from your opinion and offer an idea that both opinions are correct. This will result in a failing GRA score since your opinion has become confusing to the reader.

The discussion is weakened by the problem in the reasoning paragraphs. The result is an incompletely developed writer's opinion, based upon his original point of view as presented in the first paragraph.


Home / Writing Feedback / ỈELTS 2 - Many people believe that social networking sites cause negative effects
Writing
Editing Help?
Fill in one of the forms below to get professional help with your assignments:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳