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TOEFL: If you were an employer, which kind of worker would you prefer to hire?


able_Person 5 / 9 5  
Apr 5, 2013   #1
Thank you for the time to read my poor article. I'll very appreciate if you can give me any advice. Thank you again!

If you were an employer, which kind of worker would you prefer to hire: an inexperienced worker at a lower salary or an experienced worker at a higher salary? Use specific reasons and details to support your answer.

In today's job market where there are various workers that can satisfy the demand of all kinds of jobs. Some employers claim that they prefer inexperienced workers at a lower salary to experienced workers at a higher salary, with which I disagree. From my point of view, hiring experienced workers at a higher salary not only lifts the working efficiency markedly but also reduces the cost of management in the long term.

First and foremost, compared to recruiting an inexperienced worker at a lower salary, there is no doubt that hiring an experienced worker at a higher salary will definitely make the company run more smoothly. As an experienced worker who has accumulated a lot of working experiences, communication skills and experiences of failures know what kind of role he is supposed to play in his company. Meanwhile, his boss also has a better command of how to get along with an experienced worker rather than an inexperienced worker like a student who just graduated from the college. This kind of win-win situation will undoubtedly build up a favorable atmosphere for work and raises the working efficiency up to a new level. The high salary paid to an experienced work is just a small price for what he or she does offer.

What's more, apart from improving the working efficiency, I believe that hiring an experienced worker actually will reduce the cost of managing a corporation. Think about if. Suppose a HR hires an inexperienced worker because of the lower salary paid to the worker. In the short term, it seems that a company simply needs to pay a little money to the worker. However, besides the salary, we cannot ignore the cost of training an inexperienced worker into a skilled worker, which involves cost of time, money, failure and etc. Those costs all should be took into account when a HR recruits an inexperienced worker. In contrast, an experienced worker has already known how to reach the goal or target the manager set for him. As a result, the aggregated costs of hiring an experienced worker are much lower than hiring an inexperienced worker.

In conclusion, it is a wiser choice that a company chooses to employ an experienced worker instead of an inexperienced worker because of the lower aggregated costs and the preponderant working efficiency. So, I am convinced that employing an experienced worker at a high salary will be better than hiring an inexperienced worker at a lower salary.
dumi 1 / 6,927 1592  
Apr 6, 2013   #2
Hi
One request for you ; post your TOEFL essays under " Writing Feedback" category :)

In today's job market where there are various workers that can satisfy the demand of all kinds of jobs.

... this sentence sounds incomplete. No clear idea is expressed here :(
In today's job market, the demand for employment varies according to their experience. Some companies demand for inexperienced workers because they can be hired at a lower salary scale. However, some other companies who are more concerned about having a higher productivity, prefer to employ experienced workers.

From my point of view, hiring experienced workers at a higher salary not only lifts the working efficiency markedly but also reduces the cost of management in the long term.

... good... you express your opinion direct and clear :)

First and foremost, compared to recruiting an inexperienced worker at a lower salary, there is no doubt that hiring an experienced worker at a higher salary will definitely make the company run more smoothly.

... this sentence is too long and hence disturbs your flow. Avoid long sentences because you tend to get carried away as you keep on writing. Improve clarity with shorter sentences.
OP able_Person 5 / 9 5  
Apr 6, 2013   #3
Thank you, dumi, for helping me complete my introductory part! I must carelessly delete some part of my first sentence:P

And thank you point out the shortcoming of my essay. I will try my best to keep my sentence simple and interesting in my latter essay.


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