For example, I remember when I was doing job in computer software cooperation.
.... you remember what? This sentence is incomplete :(
For example, My previous employer which was a computer software developer has to be very prompt in completing the projects it does for its foreign clients.
It seems you have a good idea about how to structure your essay for this task. However, you need to practice more to improve the presentation of your reasons and examples. You will gain that edge through practice :)