TOEFL: WHICH KIND OF WORKER WOULD YOU HIRE?

If you were an employer which kind of worker would you hire, an inexperienced worker with a low salary or an experienced worker with a higher salary?

hI, ME AGAIN...Can you give me some feedback about this short TOEFL essay. Can it get a passing score? how much?

Nowadays, unemployment rate is rising in most cities, so it is easy to find inexperienced employees that work long hours for a low salary. However, I would rather an experienced worker since it can be beneficial not only for the company but also for co-workers.

A worker's experience can be beneficial for the company because it can give a significant contribution to the company. It is most probable that this worker has been in similar situations and problems before, so he knows how to handle those situations and he will also have great ideas about solving problems. You always learn something new about everything you do and every place you work. Hence, the most this worker has learned, the better it would be for the company, because you do not need to spend money and time in expensive training courses.

Moreover, other workers of the company can benefit from this worker's experience. You always can learn from other people. This worker can also share his knowledge and train their colleagues, which is good for the company.

In conclusion, it is true that you are going to spend less money hiring an inexperienced person.
Nevertheless, in my opinion all the money that you are going to spend in hiring an experienced person is worth it because of the benefits that the company and other workers can get.

Instead of "you" and "he" you can use "a person or an individual" or the plural form "people or workers" in order to avoid oppression of an opposite gender. The latter is more convenient, since you can replace these words by common pronouns they or them.

you do not need to spend money and time inon expensive training courses.


This is a very short paragraph. Each para in an essay should consist of not less that 5 sentences, whereas the first sentence is a topic sentence, and the rest ones are supporting ideas.


this is a contrary statement; you may develop it further in a separate paragraph. It will make your essay larger and more interesting.

Thanks everyone , but nobody told me if it can get a passing SCORE??? or is it too short...I know that paragraph 3 is too short, but it is because I didn't have more ideas .. : ( sorry!!!! it is really difficult for me to write under pressure!!!

!!!


???didn't get your point...I usually use YOU for my essays, why is that wrong?


What do you mean by contrary statement??


why not present perfect??

I would apprecaite if can explain me a little more about this corrections because they are completely new for me! thanks in advance for your time and help...

I hope the MODERARTOR CAN CLARIFY my doubts about the SCORE and the CORRECTIONS, please!!!

Nowadays, the unemployment rate is rising in most cities, so it is easy to find inexperienced employees that work long hours for a low salary. --- good sentence

However, I would rather hire an experienced worker since it can be beneficial not only for the company but also for co-workers.
or
However, I would prefer an experienced worker since it can be beneficial not only for the company but also for co-workers.

A common phrase is this: the more I XXX, the better I XXXX. So do this:
Hence, the more this worker has learned, the better it would be for the company, because the company does not need to spend money and time in expensive training courses.

Okay, I think you will score very well!! I do not know how the tests are scored, but I think the tests probably focus on the most important things, and you write correctly in the most important ways.


Azeri just means you can write this:
A person always learns something new about everything she or he does and every place he or she works...
or this, to be less awkward:
People always learn something new about everything they do and every place they work...

In conclusion, it is true that you are going to spend less money hiring an inexperienced person. --- this is a contrary statement. It is contrary to your thesis. However, I KNOW what you mean!! Do this:

In conclusion, it is true that you are going to spend less money hiring an inexperienced person, but in my opinion all the money that you are going to spend in hiring an experienced person is worth it because of the benefits that the company and other workers can get.--- If you do it as one long sentence it will not confuse the reader. Azeri was pointing out that it is confusing to start the last paragraph with a sentence that is contrary to your thesis.

:-)

I think you will definitely pass, because your English is excellent. Azeri's corrections were mostly about style and not about correct language. You are great.

OK, thanks a lot!!! now my doubts disappear...