IELTS WRITING TASK 2 Employers should give their staff at least a 4-week holiday

Employers should give their staff at least a 4-week holiday a year to make employees better at their jobs. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Answer:
A host of individuals subcribe to the notion that workers should be had 4-week holiday by the firm to improve their job quality. From my own standpoints, I totally side with this position for several reasons provided below

Extending time for holiday can brings some difficult for the company. The first and foremost justifications is that long time holiday make workers alleviate professional and knowledgeable due to long time holiday. By lacking of environment to improve and less time for work, they can confused when they comeback to their work. Moreover, during workers enjoy their holiday, finding temporary workers is a serious problem with the firm. New workers can not have the same valuable skills as well as experiences to adapt with new environment. If employers are finishing the projects, it can be postponed and the quality can not be guaranteed. This creates the challenges in operate and financial resourses.

However, this policy will bring more significant advantages for workers. Another rationale could be that having a time for employees can balance their life, between work and lifestyle. When workers prioritize this profits, they have a chance to improve the quality of life such as going travel, gathering their family and recharging their batteries. These activites make them remove sedentary lifestyle and the stressful in workplace. Furthermore, after they spend their time for resting, workers can find a new emotions and motivations to devote themselves for working according to this policy. As a result, they feel the comany treated with them excellent and they tends to connect with their workplace in a long time.

In conclusion, although the company can deal with some problems from this policy, I agree that extending time for holiday can encourage employees to balance their life and boost their inspiration when they come to the workplace

Your restatement has become inaccurate. A host of individuals is not the same as employers. Alternative words for employers are business owners or bosses. Your decision to use an incorrect synonym will result in a reduced LR score. The lack of the simplified reasons in the writer's opinion presentation also shows that you do not have a clear understanding of how the thesis statement is to be formatted and what it should reference. The topics for discussion should be presented alongside the short reasons that your opinion is based upon,

While you provide some good reasons to support your opinion, the problem in the way that you have chosen your words, created your sentences, and your lack proper English grammar will be the reason why you will receive a failing score in the end. Your deductions will come mainly from the GRA, LR, and C+C scoring sections. You need to improve your English vocabulary and sentence formation skills.

Thanks for your advice