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Toefl; In which environment children should grow? Is it a big city or countryside?


Xiaokai Jin 11 / 23 5  
Mar 26, 2013   #1
In today's society where is full of competition, anxiety and resentment, some people think it is better for children to grow up in the countryside than in a big city. However, others are oppose to that idea. But, from my point of view, I am in favor of the latter idea because children growing up in big cities can have better educational resources, expand their horizon and integrate into such a competitive society.

First and foremost, children who are brought up in big cities are more likely to access to novel things, such as high technology, newly-built fancy restaurant catering special food, a blockbuster science fiction movie and so forth. As children are touching more and more things which they never have seen before in their life, their mind will be updated and stimulated a lot.

Moreover, in big cities there are much more outstanding educational facilities like big metropolitan library, schools with a long history and etc. With no doubt, someone who received good education in his early age is more likely to become an elite in his field. In addition, children who are well-educated are less likely to commit crimes, be addicted to drugs and things like that, which will largely improve social safety.

At last, today's society is full of intense competition which gives adults and kids a lot of stress. If people in this era are not able to treat the stress on them in a right way, they will have big problems, sometimes even get a severe mental illness. However, children growing up in big cities usually solve the concerns about tremendous stress in their life better because they live in such an atmosphere when they are kids.

In conclusion, although growing up in big cities will have some negative impact on kids, we cannot ignore the fact that there are more advantages of living in big cities than in the countryside. In a modern society, people need to have an open mind, optimistic mentality and know how to get rid of negative feeling. Obviously, children in big cities can learn these things more easily because they have all the advantageous resources I just mentioned above. So it is better for children to grow up in big cities.

chessman567 5 / 170 11  
Mar 26, 2013   #2
Okay, you have the basic structure down but you still need help with a lot of grammar. Read some other toefl essays on this site, then revise. I will help you after you revise
dumi 1 / 6,928 1592  
Mar 26, 2013   #3
However, other people are oppositeoppose to that idea.

... the right word is "oppose"

As follows, I'll try to get my ideas straight.

... this is unnecessary.... Start reasoning in your body paragraphs and that's enough
I see you have a very good sense about the essay structure. As chessman suggests read good essays of others too... More importantly read the comments provided for them. You can pick points, sentence structures and many hints by reading others' essays. :)

Hey chess - that my one and only one thread ;) .... Well I did TOEFL in 2010 and that's how I got acquainted with the Essay Forum :D
chessman567 5 / 170 11  
Mar 26, 2013   #4
haha. yeah, that was one of the best toefel essays on the forum; obviously I should use it as an example :)

But what was the test, test2 thing by E.F. Forum on that thread?
ningo 22 / 53 9  
Mar 26, 2013   #5
Thanks for your post. It seems your essay meet the requirement of an essay's structure. I'm having problems with it. I will try my best to get my writing skill be better!
dumi 1 / 6,928 1592  
Mar 26, 2013   #6
But what was the test, test2 thing by E.F. Forum on that thread?

:D
That's testing by EF_Team during site upgrade. He also deleted my other thread about national leadership by mistake. :(
chessman567 5 / 170 11  
Mar 26, 2013   #7
Yeah, i was looking for that. I was like, hey where is that?
dumi 1 / 6,928 1592  
Mar 26, 2013   #8
hey where is that?

gone for 6 :P
chessman567 5 / 170 11  
Mar 26, 2013   #9
h

gone for 6 :P

haha :)
chessman567 5 / 170 11  
Mar 26, 2013   #10
hey dumi-

Where's EF Kevin and all the other moderators? Have they just ditched us?
OP Xiaokai Jin 11 / 23 5  
Mar 26, 2013   #11
Thank you for the help! I will take your advice and read more others' essays:D
g2080800 3 / 6  
Mar 27, 2013   #12
You have a good essay structure. Grammar needs to improve more. Keep working.
OP Xiaokai Jin 11 / 23 5  
Mar 27, 2013   #13
Thank you! I will try to revise more:)
thalhah - / 1 1  
Mar 28, 2013   #14
i like your idea..you are going to give a proper, easy development element to our children.but in opposite idea i think our children nowadays lack of challanges..they dont feel the hardship of their parents growing in the rural area like countryside which becoming the main reason why our young generation tend to involve in many social problem...social problem can happen in either countryside or big city but in my point of view social life in the city had becoming the main platform for this problem to occur to our beloved children.

thank you..i'm just sharing my idea..thats all.
OP Xiaokai Jin 11 / 23 5  
Mar 28, 2013   #15
What you said is objective and reasonable. I myself also agree that bringing up children in the rural area is not a bad choice. Growing up in the countryside will help the know the hardship of life and cherish what they already have. Those are very important things in people's life as well. Anyway, thank you for your advice.


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