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Ielts writing task2 about environment evaluation



kjangxx 1 / 1  
Oct 25, 2021   #1
Hi guys, it's my very first time trying with ielts writing task2. Can you help me evaluate this essay? What band can i receive? Thanks a lot

Question 2
Fossil fuel is the main souce of energy. In some countries, the use of alternative sources of energy is encouraged.

Is this a positive or negative development?



Answer: There is no denying that fossil fuels are the major source of energy in many nations; however, in some parts of the world, the use of renewable sources such as solar or wind power is being promoted. From my perspective, the switch towards using alternative sources of energy could be seen as a positive development due to the following reasons.

To begin with, unlike fossil fuels which require millions of years to replenish, natural sources such as wind or solar power are everlasting. In fact, these days, the world's population is becoming alarmingly high which leads to a significant increase in demands for fossil fuels for energy. This means these valuable resources will soon dwindle away and the country's economy will be put in jeopardy if there are no alternative sources to replace. Therefore, the shifting towards using alternative sources of energy benefits not only the country's economy but also its citizens in the long run.

Furthermore, I believe that the most prominent advantage of renewable energy is its eco-friendliness. The combustion of fossil fuels has long been believed to be the main culprit of air pollution as nowadays, a great amount of toxic gases from factories and vehicles are emitted into the atmosphere, leading to climate change which results in severe disasters such as floods, droughts and so on. As a result, by using alternative sources of energy in lieu of fossil fuels, several environmental problems will be mitigated as it helps to reduce our dependency on conventional sources of energy.

In conclusion, from the aforementioned reasons, I contend that the changes towards using renewable energy would benefit both humans and the environment in the long run.

Holt  Educational Consultant - / 15385  
Oct 26, 2021   #2
There is no denying

Review the original prompt topic. Nowhere in the presentation are you being asked if the topic is true or false. Do not change the topic presentation by adding a personal . to it. This will be seen as a prompt deviation and will score down the paragraph due to restatement inaccuracy.

Good work on the reasoning paragraphs. These are all sensible and publicly supported opinions. The examples provided are relevant and the connectivity of the discussion paragraphs are clear to the reader.

More work is needed on the concluding summary though. A rvin. on sentence was used in the presentation. The paragraph format requires 3-5 sentences, or at least 40 words in 2 sentences. This requirement is used for proper reverse paraphrasing and clarity of reasoning summary presentation.
OP kjangxx 1 / 1  
Oct 26, 2021   #3
@Holt
Thanks so much for your comment. Which band do u think i can receive??


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