Hello everybody, I am going to take the IELTS exam next year so I'm practicing my writing currently. Hope that any one can give me some comments on my writing? It is very valuable to me. Thanks in advance!
Feedback and evaluation are necessary aspects of school and work, but many people dislike being evaluated.
What are the causes of this problem? How could it be solved?
Giving feedback to students or employees is an important task for teachers and superiors. However, a considerable number of people does not enjoy receiving feedback. In my view, the reasons behind this are feedback can be hurtful and incorrect, while the solutions could be to provide feedback constructively and objectively.
To begin with, there are various reasons causing this unwanted problem. Firstly, feedback is sometimes used to deliberately criticize people, significantly hurting their self-esteem and self-confidence. This kind of unconstructive evaluation brings the feelings of depression and isolation to receivers, which is emotionally dangerous. For example, there were reported cases in which workers or students intended to commit suicide due to severe criticism. Secondly, there is a high possibility that feedback does not reflect the current progress of workers or pupils correctly. In other words, feedback is often subjectively established, which can result in a wrong development plan for students or employees.
Turning to the solutions to this issue, there are various steps that schools and organizations can take to persuade people to welcome feedback. The first way forward could be using assessment as a way to encourage people to work harder and smarter, not to degrade them. There should a clear instruction on how to give constructive feedback for every teacher and employer, ensuring that they know the best method when commenting on someone's work. In addition, the process of constructing feedback should include two or more experienced people to be fair and unbias. School teachers or employers can then compare the similarities and differences of the feedback and give their own opinions.
In conclusion, despite being an effective approach in education and development, evaluation is often avoided by people. The reasons for this are attributed to a vast amount of bias and unkind feedback. Meanwhile, it is vital to educate people to evaluate others properly and pupils or workers should be evaluated by two or more people.Holt Educational Consultant - / 14,835 
4783 Your ability to discuss the reasons based on relevant reasons can clearly be seen in your presentation. However, the clarity of your discussion presentation per paragraph suffers due to your desire to present too many reasons in the presentation. Each paragraph should contain only one related reason and solution per paragraph. This is because the focus of your discussion is always good in the first half of the paragraph, but then falters to the point of having under developed discussion points when you present the second reason. It is always better to be clear the first time than to be clear first then unclear later on. This creates a low C&C score for you because your paragraph, due to the under explained second reason, will be scored as an under developed discussion.
