You have such a good range of vocabulary and collocations. However, I can give you some advices :
- You can use " address" instead of "solve"
-Instead of using a simple sentence, you can combine them :
When trees are cut down for agriculture and residential areas, the habitats of countless species are destroyed. As a result, many animal species may become vulnerable to extinction.
--> Habitat loss of countless species species resulting from logging trees for agriculture and residential areas can cause serious extinction, which leads to biodiversity loss.
However, I absolutely appreciate your ideas, there are so many things that I can learn from your essay.
Thank you for reading my comment!