Equal number of students:IETLS essay

hi guys! i'll appreciate it ,help me in find my errors

Nowadays an indispensable role of education in man's life cannot be overlooked, whereas, knowledge seekers tend to be more sophisticated academicallySentence is not clear sophisted in what sense. Meanwhile , some like to be graduated due to being an expert of any field of study which affects specifically on society . Based on individuals opinions admission in universities should be considered by equality in gender, yet, others believe it is not going to work while focusing on students educational resume is more critical for their admission .I intend interpret the benefits and drawbacks:

An advantage can be mentioned sex equality might leads to eradication of differences of men and women's prerogative, therefore, no matter if you are male or notseems incomplete sentence. Although there are lots of men still believed, man's right priority which makes it the more significant than women's.

However, seemingly subjects appears as disadvantage is reluctance sharply increases for some subjects, as the reflux of the spot was mentioned above, some fields of study requirements for specific gender and human's contentment for some subjects relys on sex. For instance, mostly men are interested in civil and mechanical engineering, yet, women's desire is nursing, and as a statistic example, less than 10 percent of Cambodia women interested in technological fields, albeit, it assumably might be predicted in a higher rank.

At last, it can be concluded that, Point in admissions of knowledge-seekers which has to be paid attention is not either equality or quantity. Therefore, concentration on students past educational resume quality is the most significant issue. My opinion included, development in makes more sophisticated students has more influence on society ,market ,industry and so forth.

I have to admit that I was unable to understand very much of this. Try to make this more clear, more concise, be sure of how you are wording it. I was only able to fix some grammatical errors, but maybe if you were to give a summary of what you want to say in this essay, maybe even in bullet point format, I may be able to help you fix your sentences so they make more sense.

Nowadays the indispensable role of education in human life cannot be overlooked, and knowledge seekers tend to be more sophisticated academically.

Meanwhile, some like to graduate in order to become experts in any field of study, which affects society significantly.

For instance, men are often more interested in civil and mechanical engineering, while women's desires are oriented toward nursing, and as a statistical example, less than 10 percent of Cambodian women are interested in technological fields. lbeit, it assumably might be predicted in a higher rank this sentence makes no sense.

It is important to remember that women may be overrepresented in fields like nursing and teaching, while remaining underrepresented in other fields, as a result of oppresion i a society. It is not necessarily that some would not enjoy work as engineers, but rather, they have been steered toward "women's professions" from a young age.

At last, it can be concluded that, Point in admissions of knowledge-seekers which has to be paid attention is not either equality or quantity. here is another sentence that I do not know how to fix! I am not sure what you mean...

Therefore, concentration on students' past educational experiences and resume quality is most significant.

My opinion is that development in _______ (development in what?) makes more sophisticated students who will have more influence on society, market , industry, and so forth.

:-)

the indispensable role of education in a man's life cannot be overlooked: i meant to talk about importance of education in people's life that cannot be considered as an umiportant issue.

for the second part,being sophisticated educationally...is it wrong BEING SOPHISTICATED ACADEMICALLY?