Unanswered [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width   Posts: 3


IELTS"Everyone should become vegetarian because they do not need to eat meat to have a healthy diet"



DinhHuong 1 / -  
Feb 19, 2021   #1

Do you agree or disagree?



People argue that a plant-based diet can offer a range of health benefits without eating meat. I completely agree that a vegetarian diet is sufficient for a healthy lifestyle.

As regards the healthy perks, a wholly vegetarian diet brings about a human body of adequate nutrition in order to minimize the risk of cancer and heart diseases. Both cancer and heart diseases have been considered one of most important causes of mortality around the world. Thanks to diets rich in plant foods, such as fruit, vegetables, whole grains have been associated with lower cancer risk, whereas, eating red and processed meat increases colorectal cancer and may catch other cancers. For example, the longevity average of Japanese people is eighty, they also evaluated having healthy habits. The secret is there are always more than five vegetable dishes in their meal, particularly in their breakfast. As a result, the more people supply plant - foods in their daily portion, the more people can absorb important nutrition to lower the risk of these serious diseases.

It can not be denied that following a vegetarian would protect the environment for the following reasons. Research shows that vegetable production causes less emission than meat production, due to the fact that vegetable farms keep emission lower because there is less waste and no cooking in the canning process. One popular concern about the waste treatment process of large farms is that animals generate more than 1 million tons of manure per day. While big livestock farms raising animals waste large amount of water to clean barns. Consequently, sewage from raising animals process discharged into the river frequently. In the worst case, the water population might be out of control.

In conclusion, I believe that not only is vegetarianism good for the human body but also for the environment.

Holt  Educational Consultant - / 15461  
Feb 20, 2021   #2
You are being provided with a difference of opinion. It is not good to refer to this as an argument as there is no scenario that indicates a debate as ongoing. Rather, there are only people presenting differing beliefs and ideas. This presentation most certainly does not qualify as a debate but rather a "discussion" or "opposing beliefs." This is not an extent essay either so a simple agreement or disagreement with the given presentation would have been enough. Always follow the instructions as provided, do not exaggerate your statements or your responses as these will tend to alter the presentation from the original prompt and create prompt deviations on your part, which could lead to a failing TA score.

The second paragraph is a prompt deviation. There is no representation in your restatement that the effects of a non-vegetarian should be discussed in some way. Therefore, this presentation will not be considered by the examiner in scoring your presentation. As such, the second reasoning paragraph word count will be deducted from your overall presentation count. That means, the essay will automatically be less than 250 words, thus ensuring that the essay will not be able to achieve a passing score due to several other problems that exist in the presentation, along with the irrelevant discussion deduction.
vannn 1 / 2  
Feb 25, 2021   #3
@DinhHuong
In my opinion, your conclusion is quite short, so that you should expand more


Home / Writing Feedback / IELTS"Everyone should become vegetarian because they do not need to eat meat to have a healthy diet"
ⓘ Need Writing or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms for professional help:

Best Writing Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳