Unanswered [1] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width   Posts: 5


IELTS essay: Should everyone follow a vegetarianism diet?



thuyEDHANU 2 / 3  
Jan 10, 2019   #1

it is not necessary to eat meat to be healthy



Everyone should follow a vegetarianism diet because it is not necessary to eat meat to be healthy.
Do you agree or disagree?


Vegetarianism has been praised by social media as a must-do for everyone. They claim that such a diet can provide sufficient nutrients for the body. However, I am more convinced of the opposite site and this essay will explain why.

For a start, vegetarianism is considered to be unnatural. Archaeological evidence shows that eating meat is essential for human revolution for 2.3 million years. Since we are proved to be superior in the natural food chain, it would be illogical if we were restricted to being herbivores.

Secondly, a meat-free diet does not provide sufficient nutrients for human, In a 2003 study published by American Journal of Clinical Nutrition, the ratio of vegetarian people suffering from vitamin B12 deficiency is 2 in 3, while that of meat eaters is 1 in 20. On top of that, vegetarians are shown to have a higher chance of anxiety and depression.

Thirdly, vegetarianism is less practical in the regions where fresh plants are hard to grow or purchase. For example, in tundra regions, the tree growth is hindered by low temperature and short growing seasons, so it would be less likely for people there to survive on vegetarian diets. Moreover, the practice of abstaining from meat requires alternative sources of nutrients and developed nutrition science, which is less practical for those from developing countries.

In conclusion, the claim of a healthy vegetarian diet is still far from reality and the choice of food should remain as fundamental liberty of humans.


  • vegetarianism


mona21khan 1 / 2  
Jan 11, 2019   #2
Don't you have to give references when you start using such facts and figures. I was under the impression that ILETS writing was based on life experience and knowledge not on facts and figures.

Secondly, a meat-free diet does not provide sufficient nutrients for human, In a 2003 study published by American Journal of Clinical Nutrition, the ratio of vegetarian people suffering from vitamin B12 deficiency is 2 in 3, while that of meat eaters is 1 in 20. On top of that, vegetarians are shown to have a higher chance of anxiety and depression.

This paragraph looks like it is been referred to someone else research
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 15366  
Jan 11, 2019   #3
Nguyen, I have to point out the main problem with your work. You spent a tremendous amount of time researching the prompt information before you wrote the essay. The Task 2 essay only requires a personal knowledge or interpretation of the discussion as there is no time to research, nor will there be access to research information during the actual pen and paper test. As such, this essay is not a conclusive representation of your ability to write a topic centered essay, based on personal information, within a 40 minute period. That is why I cannot begin to review this essay, nor can I point out mistakes in your presentation. This is not the sort of Task 2 essay that can be done in an actual test center. Please write another essay, based on actual test center conditions (40 minute timer, personal knowledge or information only) to receive a proper review of your actual essay writing abilities in reference to Task 2 requirements.
mona21khan 1 / 2  
Jan 11, 2019   #4
hi holt are you a ILETS teacher or examiner. Both :)
OP thuyEDHANU 2 / 3  
Feb 21, 2019   #5
@Holt
thank you so much for your response! I would certainly rewrite.
Also sorry for my late reply.


Home / Writing Feedback / IELTS essay: Should everyone follow a vegetarianism diet?
Do You Need
Academic Writing
or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳

Academic AI Writer:
Custom AI Writer ◳