Unanswered [1] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width   Posts: 6


Everyone makes 100s of simple,spontaneous decisions daily;2 Most Difficult Options



writingcyh 1 / -  
Jul 28, 2013   #1
Think carefully about the tissue presented in the following excerpt and the assignment below.
"Everyone makes hundreds of simple, spontaneous decisions daily. When the issues are not morally complex and the stakes are small, our normal instincts are sufficient. The problem comes when we don't distinguish between minor and potentially major issues that demand a much more careful approach. But even with significant consideration, it can be very difficult to choose between two options that seem equally valuable."

Adapted from Michael Josephson, Making Ethical Decisions

Assignment: What two options are the most difficult to choose between? Plan and write an essay in which you develop your point of view on this issue. Support your position with reasoning and examples taken from your reading, studies, experience, or observations.

My writing:

Everyone of us needs to make tons of decisions throughout our lives. Most of the decisions are easy to make, while a few of them require much more careful considerations. Choosing the university major is definitely the hardest decision to make, as very often people are faced with two options - the major that interests them but provides a less bright future, and the one that has a better future prospect yet is less interesting. The reasons for this are that people are concerned about money, social status and their own abilities.

READ BELOW

zoha 8 / 19  
Jul 28, 2013   #2
Most of the decisions are easy to make, while a few of them require much more careful considerations

Do you think sentence require both "much more"" or one suffice ?
dumi 1 / 6795  
Jul 29, 2013   #3
The reasons for this are that people are concerned about money, social status and their own abilities.

.... how about their passions?
This is because people are concerned about money, social status and their own skills.

First, the major that we are interested in may require a larger sum of tuition but less financially rewarding in the long term than other option.

First, the major that we are mostly interested in may require a big sum of tuition fees, however, may be less financially rewarding in the long run compared to the other option.
jkjeremy - / 380  
Jul 29, 2013   #4
Everyone of us needs to make tons of decisions throughout our lives . Most of the decisions are easy to make , while a few of them require much more careful considerations. Choosing the university major is definitely the hardest decision to make , as very often people are faced with two options - the major that interests them but provides a less bright future, and the one that has a better future prospect yet is less interesting. The reasons for this are thatpeople are concerned about money, social status and their own abilities.<---Why waste space and time writing something you're just going to repeat? I know...everyone does this. Check out the average essay score on ANY standardized test before deciding to do what "everybody" does.

First, the major that we are interested in may require a larger sum of tuition but less financially rewarding in the long term than other option. Consider my own situation, I was wondering whether to study biochemistry or medicine (which is offered as an undergraduate course in my country) during my college application. Becoming a scientist and conducting research is my childhood dream, but being a doctor can enjoy a higher job security and salary. Besides, to study science in the best place in the world - the US, requires more than $50k a year, which is a couple times more expensive than to study medicine. This sad reality makes me wonder if I should pursue my dream as a scientist.

Second, one option of college major may lead to a career that has a higher social status than the one people really interested in. Take studying law and literature as an example, the former is usually more respected by people, because professionals are usually perceived to be more successful. Those who study literature might be looked down by society, unless they become Nobel Laureates in the future. Given the potential low social status, people may find it hard to decide whether to do the things they enjoy or go and seek a higher social status, which is the concern of many people.

Third, people may be uncertain of their abilities in more advanced study if they choose the major they are interested in. What we study in high schools is just introductory stuff, while the materials covered in college or even grad schools may require more natural talent. For instance, students who become fascinated by physics and aspire to become physicists after studying Newton's Laws in high school may re-consider their ambitions again after they discover that many undergraduates fail to comprehend the more advanced theories in college. They doubt their own abilities may not be sufficient to handle the major they really like.

Most people are told to choose the fields that are interested and passionate to study, but in reality the decision does not depend on one's interests only. Therefore, when faced with the options of interests versus future prospects when applying for college, many people find that making the appropriate decision, which can have profound impacts on their latter lives, very difficult.

---You need to use fewer words to convey your thoughts.
---You need to expand each paragraph by conveying MORE thoughts.

For reasons I don't understand, you've focused entirely on academic matters (as though that's what the prompt asked you to do).

You could and should have focused ONE paragraph on school-related stuff and then another one or two on different kinds of decisions.
dumi 1 / 6795  
Jul 30, 2013   #5
Choosing the university major is definitely the hardest decision to make, as very often people are faced with two options

.... first, why do you talk about major and minor courses ? What your prompt means is something else :(

Everyone of us needs to make tons of decisions throughout our lives

.... tons go with weight and I prefer you used some word that deals with numbers :)
Everyone of us makes millions of decisions throughout our lives.

Third, people may be uncertain of their abilities in more advanced study if they choose the major they are interested in.

... what does this mean? Not very clear :(
zoha 8 / 19  
Jul 31, 2013   #6
Both "much and more" are adjectives. Why do you need two adjectives together?


Home / Writing Feedback / Everyone makes 100s of simple,spontaneous decisions daily;2 Most Difficult Options
Do You Need
Academic Writing
or Editing Help?
Need professional help with your assignments? Fill out one of these forms:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳