The excessive usage of social networkings

Do you have facebook and twitter account? Absolutely the answer is yes. Facebook and Twitter are the online social networks that exist in the world today. Online social networkings is when a person connect with other people online through certain websites. Each person creates his or her own account and page, post informations, photos, videos and comments. When a person's friends online through a social networking site, that person can then access the person's page ang make comments, upload photos and so on. Besides the easiness of social networking which was explained, there are risk inherent in social networking. The excessive usage of social networkings has bad impact to people's life because it can reduce their social interaction in the real world, and reduce motivation and academic achievement among student.

Why social networks can reduce social interaction? It is because people make a lot of friends in Facebook, Twitter and etc, interact with them at internet. But in the real world, they have no time to interact with others. Actually, people spend most of their time with the internet and the result is they are reducing their social skills and communication skills.Individuals who have a type like this feel more enjoy to interact with people in social media compared with those in the real world.

Social networkings also can reduce motivation and academic achievement among students in the school or collage because many students are becoming addicted to the social networks. They are become lazy to learn and choose to spend time online in social media They spend more and more time just surfing the social networks without any particular reason. Therefore, the time they spend on studying is automatically reduces, which in turn causes lower motivation academic achievement.

please help to correct my essay :)

"Do you have f acebook and twitter account?"...Is that a rhetorical question?
Absolutely the answer is yes. Facebook and Twitter are the online social networks that exist in the world today. Online Social networkings is when a person connects with other people online through certain websites . ...Online implies certain websites, through the net

Each person creates his or her own account and page, post informations , photos, videos and comments. When a person's friends online through a social networking site, that person can then access the person's page ang and make comments, upload photos and so on. (good background information on social networking!)

Besides the easiness of social networking which was explained, there are risk inherent in social networking. The excessive usage of social networkings has bad impact to people's life because it can reduce their social interaction in the real world, and reduce motivation and academic achievement among student. Excessive usage of social networking has a bad imapct

Why social networks can reduce social interaction? It is because people make a lot of friends in Facebook, Twitter and etc, interact with them at internet. But in the real world, they have no time to interact with others. Actually, people spend most of their time with the internet (PROOF?) and the result is they are reducing their social skills and communication skills.Individuals who have a type like this feel more enjoy to interact with people in social media compared with those in the real world.

ADD IN: Furthermore (it is an alternative to... Secondly) Social networkings also can reduce motivation and academic achievement among students in the school or collage because many students are becoming addicted to the social networks. (YOU COULD USE SOME EVIDENCE TO BACK THIS UP... exactly how many, as 'many' is subjective: it could mean 100 people for some or 6 billion for the rest) They are become lazy to learn and choose to spend time online in social media. They spend more and more time just surfing the social networks without any particular reason. Therefore, the time they spend on studying is automatically reduces, which in turn causes lower motivation academic achievement.

Anggita, good job overall.

It is a great idea to conclude your arguments at the end of your essay... or perhaps you could add in one more argument?
Also, it is preferable to put in some evidence to support your point, as it strengthens your argument.This is because it is very very hard for somebody to deny facts. E.G (just a made up example)... The experts in "Psychologist Expert Today" have discovered that Social Networking... or... According to International Census, 1 in 5 people in USA uses social networking.

There are many more social networks, in fact EF is also one of them. However, Facebook and Twitter are the most famous. So include that point in this line;

Facebook and Twitter are among the top of online social network that exists across the globe.


This doesn't come clearly. This is what I suggest;
Online social forums enable their members to find out latest infomation about their loved ones and friends, upload photos and also to chat. They keep their members closely connected to each other.