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Exemplification essay - All about clothes



Alizia 2 / 2  
Mar 21, 2012   #1
All about clothes
Sitting in the cafeteria, you might feel curious about a person just walking by on the street. Who is that man? What does he or she do? How does he or she feel? Why does that person dress like that? You probably couldn't know the person's name. But, what he or she wears can reveal something about the person. Clothing a person wears can tell a lot.

First, different colors of clothes may reveal wearer's feelings and personality. According to the research, people tend to wear clothes of warm colors such as yellow, orange, red or pink when they feel happy or energetic; while wearing clothes of cold colors adds gloom or sadness to a person. Besides, wearer in warm colors may show his or her enthusiasm toward life. On the other hand, those who dress in cold colors might have the indication of self-possessed and sense. Indeed, colors of the clothing reflect one's varied mood and personality to life.

In addition, the ways to wear outfit in daily life can express a person's living habit. Take shirt for example. On a formal occasion in a company, everyone wears shirt. Suddenly, there come two men. One wears clean and neatly ironed shirt, the other wears sloppy and wrinkled shirt with the sleeves rolled up. These two men's shirts give us different thoughts about them. The former person may make others feel that he has not only self-respect but also respect for other people. At the same time, it means that he is used to dealing with his clothing well and has dress sense. The latter person's wrinkled shirt seems to be tucked into wardrobe. It reveals that he does not care much about his clothing unlike the neatly-dressed man.

Finally, wearing clothing might show a person's self-identity and which group he or she belongs to. For example, in America, there is a group of people, usually are the teens, dressing in all black. This is what we call "Goth" or "Gothic" people. The ideas for them to dress like that can be traced back in early 1980s, England. They self-indentify that they have been spurned by 'normal' society because the way they want to live; their lives do not fit in with how most people are told to live theirs. Another example is Hutterite. It is a religious group in German. The clothing they wear is very unique. Women and girls wear a kerchief-style head covering which is usually black with white polka dots, while the men wear black jacket.

To the conclusion, judging from what a person wears can know more information about that person. Through different clothes of colors, we can know what emotions and characters they may have. By noticing two men's shirts on an occasion, we can tell that one's living habit when dealing with clothes. In the end, special wearer might reveal what self-identity he or she perceive and which group to belong to.

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Hello,everyone!

I would be very appreciate that if anybody can give me some suggestions.
About my writing problem: wordiness, structure, topic sentences and coherence
Thanks.

m00ny 2 / 18  
Mar 21, 2012   #2
The essay flows good, intro and ending are well separated. I like how you include specific information about Gothic style and Hutterite people.
Try to replace some common words (he or she/wears/men/clothes with synonyms). Essay is much more interesting when you have new words coming up, nevertheless if you are repeating same sentence :). When you conclude, think about inspiring reader. Just as I was reading this essay, I was thinking; how many times did I actually stopped and checked one`s garment?


Best wishes, m00ny.


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