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Get exercise - The growing number of overweight people and health care system.


csesaswati 1 / -  
Jul 12, 2019   #1

more physical activities



The growing number of overweight people is putting a strain on the health care system in an effort to deal with the health issues involved. Some people think that the best way to deal with this problem is to introduce more physical education lessons in school.

This is true , growing number of overweight is a serious problem in the world. Many people who have a sedentary life style are overweight because they do not participate in regular exercise. I believe that introducing more physical education lesson in school only partially eliminate the obesity problem.

Student become more active and energetic if they perform more physical activities.It also help them in their study and keep them fit. However, many adults suffer from obesity. Obesity can cause increase of blood pressure, diabetes and depression. Therefore, to make a healthy society we should include the parents of the students in obesity awareness programs. We can introduce some sports competition in school for parents and students. This sports competition help to keep themselves healthy.We can arrange some health camps which will aware elders about benefit of exercise and yoga. Government may increase taxes on fast food which will prohibit people to eat it because fast foods are very unhealthy.

It is inevitable that introducing more physical activities definitely beneficial for students. But on the other hand, informing everyone about the advantage of physical education not only benefit to reduce the chance of obesity in young generation but will also be beneficial for older generation.

Maria [Contributor] - / 965 342  
Jul 12, 2019   #2
@csesaswati
Hello there. Welcome to the forum. Thank you for approaching us. I will be providing you with writing feedback tailor-fit to what you have provided.

Firstly, be cautious of the forms of verbs you are using. Remember to always keep a parallel approach wherein a singular noun warrants a singular verb not unless you are using irregular verbs. Keep this in mind.

When you are writing, try to also maintain a formal and academically appropriate structure. Remember that you should evade the usage on uncertain words to keep a firmer tone in your language.

Best of luck as always.
lichien0422 5 / 8 3  
Jul 13, 2019   #3
Hi

I like the idea you wrote here. However, you have to be careful of several verb/grammar choices.
if they perform participate in more
introducing more physical activities are definitely ...

Good luck!


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