Some people say that the only reason for learning a foreign language is in order to travel to or work in a foreign country. Others say that these are not the only reasons why someone should learn a foreign language. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
foreign language knowledge can help those who will use it
The reasons to learn a new language are obvious to people who travel abroad or work overseas. While some claim that foreign languages can also be advantageous in other circumstances, I believe that they are only beneficial to the group mentioned above, as will now be discussed.
On the one hand, there are reasons to learn a new language other than to function normally in a foreign country. Firstly, people can use their language skills to broaden their global culture understanding by watching movies produced overseas. Secondly, knowing foreign languages enables us to read the news in other countries. For example, many readers in Vietnam used Weibo to keep themselves updated with stories and events happening in China.
On the other hand, I believe that only those who travel to a foreign country for money or entertainment should learn a new language. Like any skill, language skills can be weakened if not usually utilized. Those not travelling nor working overseas are less likely to use foreign languages regularly and therefore, should not spend their time learning something they may soon forget. Also, to master a new language is extremely arduous and daunting, meaning that one must devote huge amounts of time and dedication to sharpen language skills. Thus, only those who have a serious need of using a new language should put themselves up to such a challenge. Otherwise, doing so may not be helpful.
In conclusion, knowing a new language can help us do spectacular things such as exploring exotic cultures and reading foreign news. However, I hold the view that for those who are not travelling abroad or working in a foreign firm in the future, learning new languages could be a waste of time and energy, as explained in this essay.Holt Educational Consultant - / 14,835 
4783 Dan, you have totally changed the prompt discussion for this essay from a comparative public point of view discussion with a personal analysis at the end to a totally personal opinion based essay. Your prompt instructions paraphrase did that when this happened:
Original prompt: Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Your Prompt: I believe that they are only beneficial to the group mentioned above, as will now be discussed.
What happened to the comparison discussion requirement? Remember, you have to point out the original instructions, in your own words as part of the prompt paraphrase. The paraphrase should have been:
I will be presenting my personal opinion regarding this topic after I have studied the two popular opinions regarding foreign language learning.
You became too focused on the "I" aspect of the discussion that you neglected to properly identify the required discussion. Which is why you did not discuss both public opinions first before jumping into your personal opinion. You are lacking one paragraph in this 5 paragraph essay (3 reasoning paragraphs) which clearly and concisely presents a believable discussion of the presented opinions, reasons, and discussion points per paragraph.
Rather than using the memorized phrases "on the one hand" and "on the other hand" for a comparative discussion, you will score higher when you reference to discussion party instead in the form of "People who believe that language learning is only for travel..." and "Considering the point of view of others who look to other reasons for learning languages..." as some other methods of referring to public points of view. Do you see the difference? My version allows you to better increase your TA, LR, and GRA scoring potential. Your version limits yourself to only the lower scoring bracket.
